


Carly's Solution

by Jelly1123



Category: iCarly
Genre: F/M, Fake Dating, Happy Ending, Pre-Relationship, minor gibby/carly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:13:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24104218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jelly1123/pseuds/Jelly1123
Summary: When Sam and Freddie's fighting gets too extreme, Carly feels the need to intervene. Freddie and Sam uncover her meddling and decide to get back at her. Will it backfire on them? Multi-chapter.
Relationships: Freddie Benson/Sam Puckett, Gibby Gibson/Carly Shay
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Fanfiction.net under AJ1123 on 7/3/2012. Partially rewritten.

Sam and Carly lounged on the couch after a long day at school, watching Girly Cow. Carly had a hard time keeping her attention on the show. She knew that eventually she would have to bring up Sam’s immature behavior up at some point. It seemed like all she was doing lately. Finally, Carly decided to speak up.

"I wish you'd be nicer to Freddie, Sam. He never did anything to deserve this constant mistreatment." Carly said.

However, it was the first episode of the new season, so Sam shushed Carly and turned her gaze back to the television. Sighing dramatically, Carly turned off the T.V. 

When Sam whirled on her, fury in her eyes. Carly said, "Relax, we’ll record it. Come on…I want to talk about this."

"You want to know what he did? He existed." Sam snarled, reaching for the remote. Carly held it just out of her grasp.

"Sam…" Carly said sternly, sounding like Sam’s mom—if Sam’s mom gave a damn about her or her life or her behavior in any way shape or form. 

"He just irks me, okay? Tell him to stop being such a nub and I'll be nicer."

Carly huffed. "How about if I give you ten bucks?"

"You're bribing me?" Sam asked, raising her eyebrows. Carly nodded. "Make it twenty dollars and I'll consider it."

Carly rolled her eyes and pushed off the couch, taking the remote with her. Sam looked after her with sad eyes, but Carly pretended not to notice. Standing idly at the island in the kitchen, she took a long, thoughtful sip of a Pepi Cola, contemplating the strain her best friends' relationship was putting on everyone around them.

Just the week before Gibby burst into tears after being caught in a shouting match between Sam and Freddie over whether Velcro shoes or shoes with laces were better. And the Tuesday before that Carly almost failed anatomy because Sam and Freddie knocked into her diorama of the human body while fighting. Luckily Mr. Finley was understanding and allowed her another day to re-glue all the pieces.

And that didn't include why Carly was upset with them at the moment.

Today the three of them had been at the Groovy Smoothie when Sam stole Freddie's smoothie because he insinuated that she needed to eat better. She proceeded to call him a variety of colorful names and he lunged at her, knocking over the table. Smoothie flew everywhere. Over other customers and themselves. They wrestled on the ground until T-Bo kicked them out. They weren't allowed to come back until they could actually behave—and that included Carly.

“This isn’t my fault. Go talk to Fredbag if you care so much.” Sam snapped.

“I think I will.” Carly returned. Tossing the remote back to Sam, she stormed into the hallway and knocked on the door across the hall. After a few moments, Freddie opened the door.

"This has to stop." Carly said, charging past him and into the living room.

"What? People inviting themselves into my apartment?"

"Be nice, Fredward!" Ms. Benson called from the kitchen and Carly had to hide a smirk.

"No, this fighting with Sam." Carly replied. "I'm tired of being banned from places—the Pear Store, Build-a-bra, the movie theatre! This is getting ridiculous!"

"Well, tell that to Sam. She is the one who always starts it.”

"Don't even, Freddie." Carly snapped, waving a finger at him. "You are as much at fault as she is. That excuse might have worked a few years ago but not anymore. You know what she is like, Freddie, and yet you continue to tease her and fight back. She'll probably leave you alone if you don't put up a fight."

"And what, let her walk all over me?" Freddie said it with a tone that implied that was the craziest thing he had ever heard. And it was. He would rather eat a bucket of sand than let Sam get away with her terrible attitude towards him.

"God, when did you two get so alike? Swallow your pride, Freddie, and be the bigger person." Carly told him sternly, jabbing him in the chest, before storming out of the apartment. 

Carly stood in the hallway, staring at her front door. She didn’t want to go back in there and either rehash the argument with Sam, or worse, pretend everything was perfectly fine. If only there was some way to force them to get along—or at least deal with all these pent-up issues. 

That is when Carly came up with an evil idea. It couldn’t possibly ever work but maybe it would get them to finally realize things had gone too far. Pulling out her phone, she sent a couple of text messages. Smiling to herself, she slipped back into the apartment and started getting ready for her plan. 

\---------------------------------------------------------

Carly convinced Sam that they should go out to dinner. Sam was always done for food but didn’t want to go to Marceline’s. It was too “hoity-toity” according to Sam. Carly rolled her eyes and told her she could order whatever she wanted off the menu. Eventually, Sam agreed. 

She would not, however, agree to the red dress that Carly suggested she wear. Instead, she opted to wear her grease stained ACDC t-shirt and ripped jeans. It would have to do.

As soon as they were seated at the restaurant, Sam tried to order food—a 25oz steak and lobster combo. Carly stopped her though, ordering two sodas and telling Sam to be patient. Then Carly launched into a story about the last time she had been at that restaurant. It was with a boy named Casey who had played footsie all night and then tried groped her when they were leaving. Needless to say, she never saw him again.

Sam wasn't listening though. She seemed despondent and when prompted just asked if she could order yet.

"Alright, I'll be right back. Gotta use the restroom." Carly said, slipping out of the booth. "Don't order until I get back. If you do order, I won't pay."

Sam sneered and hunkered down in the booth to wait. Why was Carly forcing her to starve? And why did she take her to a place that didn't even give out bread as a pre-meal snack? Her stomach growled in protest.

She glanced at her phone. It was six o'clock—almost three hours since she last ate. The only thing she could do then was wait.

Freddie entered Marceline's at exactly six, his mother having delayed him several minutes asking why he was going to a restaurant dressed nicely. He couldn't tell her that Carly set him up on a blind date and instead lied, saying that the iCarly team had been sent a coupon from a fan and thus were going to treat themselves. She bought the lie and dropped him off.

He was nervous as he entered the restaurant.

The only other date that he had been on was the one where Sam and Carly had been watching from upstairs in the iCarly studio—Carly later admitted to their snooping—and it was with someone he at least knew.

He was hesitant when Carly had texted him about the blind date but figured it couldn’t possibly hurt. Plus, he was just so tired of being single. Even Gibby had a semi-serious girlfriend these days.

"I’m looking for table 32." He told the woman behind the podium and she pointed him to a table.

Walking towards the booth, he held his breath. The girl was tall with long, curly blond hair. She was quietly sipping a soda and fidgeting with a napkin. Holding his breath, he stepped into the girl's line of sight and said, "Hi, I'm Freddie. I think I’m your date this evening."

The girl that looked up at him was very pretty. She had large, brown eyes and long blond hair that fell over her shoulders. She was wearing a simple red dress and smiled widely at him. “I’m sorry, I am here waiting for Derek,” She told him, checking her phone. 

"Oh, so you don’t know Carly?” He checked.

"I'm afraid not, honey." She said with a shrug and weak smile

"Sorry for bothering you." Freddie said, walking away from the table, feeling confused. Where was his date then? He looked around for a few moments, lost, and just as he was about to admit defeat and leave, he got a text.

'Good luck on your date, Freddie. And don't forget…table 35!'

He practically laughed aloud as he checked the tables and started in the right direction. He saw another girl, somewhat shorter but with long blond hair. She looked strikingly similar to the other girl from the back.

"Uh…hello?" Freddie said, walking up beside her.

When the girl turned around, Freddie knew he was dead. It was none other than Samantha Puckett.

"What are you doing here, Freddie?" She sneered, stabbing the butter knife she was fiddling with into the table.

"I have…a date…" He trailed off nervously.

"Aww…is little Freddie here to meet his boyfriend?" Sam cooed, her eyes mischievous. "How cute."

"Funny...you’re always so funny." He laughed nervously. "That’s weird though, Carly told me my date was at table 35."

Sam's eyes narrowed and she glanced at the number etched into the wood of the table. Then she shook her head as Freddie slid into the booth. "No…I am not on a date with you, Fredloser. Get up and run along."

"This has to be a mistake…” He muttered, pulling out his phone and texting Carly. 

His phone pinged a few moments later. “It’s not a mistake. Just order some apps and try to have a good time.” Sighing, he showed the message to Sam.

“I could kill her.” Sam hissed, digging the butter knife further into the divot she made in the surface of the table. “What is she hoping to accomplish?”

“Make us get along?” 

“No, this is more devious. This has to be a punishment. That’s it…I’m being punished.” Sam snarled. At that point, Freddie reached across the table and gently pried the butter knife from her hands. If it weren’t for the fact that she was starving, she would have gladly stabbed him with said knife. However, stab wounds rarely lead to her getting something eat.

“Well, whatever this is, it’s not cool. We need to get back at her.” Freddie said deviously. 

Sam nodded slowly. She knew Carly and knew that she was definitely in the restaurant, watching them. She thought about just storming out, but Freddie was right, they needed to teach Carly a lesson. 

“Just play along,” Freddie said, taking a sip of his soda and looking over the menu.

"Alright, but you're paying."

Freddie smirked and picked up a menu.

"So how are we going to get her back?" Sam asked casually as she scanned the menu. 

"We could…" Freddie trailed off, a pained expression crossing his face. He shook his head like he was trying to get an idea out of it. 

"What?"

"Nothing, it's stupid." Freddie grimaced. 

"What is it? Out with it already!" Sam snapped, her eyes dark.

"What if we…" Freddie trailed off. 

"Dated?” She finished.

Freddie braced himself to get punched in the face, but Sam nodded slowly. “Not a bad idea. Not a bad idea at all.” 

They spent the rest of their ‘romantic evening’ going over the details of their devious fake-dating plan to get back at Carly. She wouldn’t know what hit her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Fanfiction.net under AJ1123 on 6/3/2012. Partially rewritten.

Carly didn't see Sam or Freddie all morning long, so when they strode into Mr. Ward's second period class together, she raised an eyebrow at them. It was so unlike Freddie to skip a class. Then he showed up with Sam? This was incredibly abnormal.

"Where were you guys during first period?" Carly asked as she took her seat, giving the pair an inquisitive look.

"We went out for a smoothie." Sam replied with a nonchalant shrug, waving her very berry smoothie at her. 

"You two…together?" Carly asked, trying to hide the smirk that threatened to spread across her face. The only other time that Freddie had skipped a class was when he was dating Taylor Erikson. If he was skipping with Sam Pucket, it could only mean one thing—her plan worked. 

"Yes." Freddie said simply. "Can't two friends go out for an early morning smoothie without you jumping to conclusions?" He rolled his eyes.

Carly didn't quite believe them though as she turned around and faced the front of the classroom. The entire period though, she was aware of Sam and Freddie passing a note back and forth. Occasionally one or both would giggle. It was kind of annoying in the sense that she was trying to pay attention to the lesson but made her really happy all the same.

After class, Freddie caught up with her in the hall.

"Thanks so much for setting us up on that date." He said, smiling. 

Carly nodded, dumbstruck. She had hoped it would go this well but never actually expected it to happen. A few moments passed before she said, "You're welcome."

"At first we were upset that you tricked us, but we ended up having a great time." Freddie said with a coy smile. Carly felt herself bubbling with excitement. "We're going out again, actually." He added.  
Carly's eyes went wide. She had thought perhaps they had come to a compromise, not realized that they liked each other. This was even better than she imagined.

"That's great." She smiled. "Now, I've got to get to third period."

Carly couldn’t focus for the rest of the school day. All she could think about was the wild turn her plan took.  
________________________________________  
"Just take my hand, Freddie." Sam snarled in his ear as they stood at their lockers.

"But you're covered in bacon grease." Freddie whined.

Sam reached out and wiped her hand down the front of his shirt. Freddie grimaced at the gesture. Did this girl have no manners? "There." She told him with a smirk and took his hand, linking their fingers together.

"Ew…they're still slimy."

"Blame your shirt…your nerd shirt." Sam said, poking him directly in the chest. He scowled. This wasn't going to work if she couldn't behave, but he wasn't about to argue with her when she was in prime position to break a few fingers.

Just walking down the hall to Lunch, they garnered all kinds of attention. It didn't slip past anyone's notice that Sam and Freddie were holding hands. The two tried to talk aimlessly, acting absorbed in one another, but they could hear the whispers.

As they entered the cafeteria, there was nothing but silence as dozens of eyes turned to look at them. 

Sam just scowled. Freddie suddenly felt uncomfortable. He tried to pull from Sam, but she tightened her grip until her knuckles went white and Freddie let out an exasperated groan of pain. "Don't blow this now, nub." She hissed in his ear.

He nodded stiffly and allowed her to lead him to where Carly was sitting. She just watched them. They sat down and Sam finally released Freddie's hand. Freddie discretely nursed his hand under the table. She had a vice-like grip that could make a wrestler cry.

"To be honest, I didn't believe you at first, Freddie." Carly admitted over their packed lunches.

Sam and Freddie exchanged a look. They knew what was coming.

"So tell me!" She squealed suddenly. Neither blinked. "How did this happen? Tell me all the details! Did you guys kiss? Where are you going on your second date?"

Sam and Freddie sat silent for a moment, each waiting for the other to answer the barrage of questions. Sam thought Freddie should do it because he was one to tell Carly they were 'dating', and Freddie thought Sam should do it because she came up with the plan in the first place.

Finally Sam sighed dramatically and said, "There isn't much to tell. I had the lasagna."

"Four plates of it." Freddie added. Sam glared at him—now he spoke up.

"And Freddie had some girly salad." Sam quipped. "Over dessert we really got talking and well, we realized that we've like each other for a while now."

"Did you kiss goodnight?" Carly chirped.

Sam had to bite down her tongue from making some mean-spirited comment or recoiling in disgust. Freddie kicked her leg under the table and in response she pinched his arm. All went without notice by Carly.

"No." Sam finally said, through gritted teeth.

"Why not?" Carly asked, suspicious. "You guys kissed before."

"That was a long time ago." Sam said with a forced, nonchalant shrug.

Carly said nothing for a few minutes after that, focusing on her food. She rolled her apple in her hands and seemed to be distracted. While she was distracted, Sam and Freddie were having a silent conversation. Freddie glared at Sam, silently berating her for telling Carly they hadn't kissed. Sam shrugged in irritation. What was she supposed to do? They both knew how Carly would get if she said that they had kissed. Freddie rolled his eyes and slammed his spoon into his pudding cup. Sam smirked.

"You should get it out of the way now." Carly said suddenly. She took in Sam and Freddie's shocked expressions.

"Uh…but we're in school." Sam said.

"Yeah, I'd rather our first kiss not be in front of the entire school." Freddie supplied.

"Oh come on—" Carly began, but her next words were cut off by the bell ringing. She frowned and glared at her friends as if they had something to do with the timing. "Are you two coming over to go over ideas for iCarly later?"

"Yeah." Sam and Freddie said in unison before heading the opposite direction from Carly. Freddie actually had the same class as Carly but didn't want to be alone with her if he could help it. In the end, Sam convinced Freddie to skip.  
________________________________________

"You know we're not actually dating right?" Freddie asked as they sat in the parking lot, leaning up against Ms. Briggs' car. Sam had wanted to deflate her tires but Freddie convinced her not to. Instead he allowed her to carve dirty words into the passenger door. He said this was a lot less dangerous—Sam had just rolled her eyes.

Duh…idiot." Sam snarled, finishing carving a word that would make even the dirtiest sailor blush. Freddie realized he must be hanging around Sam too much when it didn't even faze him.

"I just mean, we don't have to skip together. You skip alone all the time." Freddie said. "You hate me…so why do you keep dragging me along with you?"

"Dammit, Freddie, why do you have to make everything such a big deal?" Sam snapped.

"It's just—"

"I asked you to skip with me because we need to talk about what we are going to do about Carly." Sam rolled her eyes. "She won't relent until we have our 'first kiss'." She stuck her tongue out.

"I've kissed you before…it wasn't that big of a deal." Freddie shrugged.

"I know…but we were alone then. We didn't have Carly as an audience. It needs to be convincing."

Freddie looked at Sam, bewildered. Was she nervous? He figured she would just give him a peck and they'd move on. Yet, she seemed more worried about it than normal. Did she know something that he didn't?

"Maybe we should…" She hesitated. Freddie didn't finish her sentence because he had no idea what she was going to say. "Practice?"

She had tried to sound disgusted but she had actually sounded constipated. Freddie almost laughed but caught himself. Sam would pummel him if he laughed at her. Instead, he just shrugged and avoided looking at her. Since she was making such a big deal out of it, it was becoming a big deal for him too. He was already nervous, but seeing the unflappable Sam Puckett acting the way he felt, made every nerve in his body freak out.

"Okay…" He said finally.

"Okay…" Sam repeated, turning to face him.

She didn't know where to put her hands so she left one on the ground and placed the other one on Freddie's thigh. He tensed under her touch but she assumed he was just preparing himself for an awful experience. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Some part of Freddie was worried that he might enjoy it and that scared him most of all. 

Just as he felt her breath on his lips, a shout cut through the air and they jumped apart immediately. Looking up sheepishly, they saw Ms. Briggs snarling at them from a second story window. Then she was gone—presumably rushing downstairs to drag them to the principal’s office.

"Make a run for it?" Sam asked, jumping up. She knew from experience that Ms. Briggs would take at least two minutes to get down the stairs.

"Yeah." Freddie said, and Sam pulled him to his feet.

They ran out of the parking lot and down the street without letting go of each other's hands. Neither of them ever said anything about it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted originally on Fanfiction.net under AJ1123 on 7/19/2012. Partially rewritten.

Carly didn't see Sam or Freddie for the rest of the school day. Last period, though, she was called into Principal Franklin's office. Ms. Briggs was there, staring daggers—nothing unusual there.

"Is there something wrong?" She asked, easing into the chair that had been occupied so often by her best friend but so rarely by her.

"You haven't done anything wrong, Carly." Franklin got out of the way. "We're just concerned about Sam and Freddie." For a moment, Carly was dumbstruck. Did Principal Franklin know about the relationship? And if that was so, then why did he care? It wasn't any of his business if the students dated. Unless Sam and Freddie did something against school rules…

"What happened?"

"They were caught skipping class and then they left school grounds.” Principal Franklin said sternly.

"Yeah, I saw them smooching in the parking lot!" Ms. Briggs spat.

"I highly doubt that was what they were doing, Ms. Briggs." Franklin cut in. The teacher just scoffed. "They also had keyed Ms. Briggs' car."

"They are going to pay for the damage." The woman snarled.

"Now, this behavior is not uncommon for Sam, but Freddie is one of our star pupils. We don't want to see him led down a bad path." Principal Franklin explained. "We were just hoping you could talk to them."

"I was hoping we could expel them!"

"Ms. Briggs…please return to your classroom." Principal Franklin said irritably.

The woman shuffled out of the room, grumbling all the while. Carly nodded at the Principal before leaving the office as well. As she walked back to Honors English, she couldn't help but wonder why Freddie was allowing Sam to drag him around like this. She would expect that since now they were together, Freddie would be the one to influence Sam for the better. Instead, he was being dragged down with Sam.

This wasn't good.  
________________________________________

Sam showed up at the iCarly studio around three with Freddie in tow. Carly wasn't home yet according to Spencer. With a fishing pole in one hand and a teddy bear in the other, he shouted something about hanging with Socko and disappeared out the door.

Sam and Freddie settled on the couch, at opposite ends. They had spent the entire day together and now were ready for a break.

When they ran away from school, Freddie suggested they go to the library and Sam punched him. They ended up going to the mall. Then they remembered that they were banned from all the stores. Freddie bought them some lunch from the food court and they ate it in silence; at least until the meal was over and Sam whined about being hungry still.

"I'm going to get a drink. Want something?" Sam stood from the couch.

"You're being nice…" Freddie said with awe in his voice. "Who are you and what have you done with Sam?"

Sam rolled her eyes and laughed. "We're dating. I should at least try to be nice."

"Okay, Pepi Cola. Pretty please!"

Sam walked to the fridge and got out two Pepi Colas. She even grabbed herself an unopened package of ham. Then she returned to the couch where she handed Freddie his drink, an evil smirk on her lips.  
He started to open his drink, and so Sam began opening hers as well. She didn't want to stare at him or else he might get suspicious. And the last thing she needed at the moment was for him to find a reason not to open the soda. She watched him out of the corner of her eye, waiting for the drink to explode in his face.

It didn't.

She looked confused but didn't stop opening her can until it was too late. Her eyes went wide as the soda sprayed all over her and the couch. She dropped it and the contents emptied all over the carpet. Freddie was laughing himself to death at the other end of the couch.

"Ass…" She muttered and stood, reaching for some napkins.

Suddenly a hand was on her hip. "Here, this will work better." Freddie said, his breath right in her ear as he stood up behind her. He gently spun her around and started blotting the stain on her shirt.

"I can do that myself, thank you very much." Sam said, reaching for the towel.

"No, you'll ruin the shirt if you just wipe it." He said, concentrating on blotting carefully.

"You're such a girl." Sam snapped, rolling her eyes. "Of course, you would be concerned about ruining my shirt." 

Freddie’s hand brushed the side of her boob. Sam shivered involuntarily. 

"Are you cold?" He asked, and she turned away to hide the blush on her cheeks.

"I'll just go borrow one of Carly's shirts." With that she disappeared upstairs, leaving Freddie standing there awkwardly. He wasn’t using this as an opportunity to grope Sam—he didn't pull those kinds of stunts—but he couldn't help but feel her curves as he cleaned her up. It made him feel warm all over.

He finally walked over to the couch, sipping his cola and allowing himself to get lost in his thoughts.

A few minutes passed until the front door opened and Carly strolled in. She was surprised to see Freddie sitting all alone on the couch. A towel lay draped over the coffee table. Carly looked around in confusion, but Freddie didn't seem to notice her.

"Earth to Freddie." She said after a minute and he jumped about a foot in the air.

"Don't scare me like that." Freddie said, his voice high-pitched.

At that moment, Sam came downstairs wearing a shirt that said, I Believe in Narwhals. She smirked at Freddie. "Aww…is little Freddie afraid of the big bad Carly?"

"She startled me, Sam." Freddie snapped.

Carly raised her eyebrow at the two of them. "You two are still bickering?"

Sam shrugged and sat down next to Freddie—correction, she practically sat on top of Freddie. Her thigh pressed up against his and almost automatically his arm came to snake around her waist. She closed her eyes a moment, trying to get herself under control.

"I just thought that since…" Carly trailed off. "Never mind. We need to talk about today, though. Principal Franklin is fighting with Ms. Briggs to keep you two out of trouble." Sam grinned. "Not completely out of trouble, of course, but she wants you two expelled."

"Who cares what she thinks?" Sam asked.

"A lot of people, Sam." Carly said. "I'm not saying behave—I've said it before and you didn't listen then either—but please don't drag Freddie into it."

Sam just curled her lip and said nothing. Freddie just looked at his hand around Sam's waist. Carly sighed and said, "Why don't we go upstairs and start brainstorming?"

Sam and Freddie shared a beanbag chair once they got upstairs. Freddie wasn’t sure if he should sit with Sam or not. They were supposed to be dating, but the constant touching was awkward, and Freddie knew was unwanted by Sam. Yet, when Carly wasn't looking, Sam motioned for him to join her.

She shifted, allowing him to settle next to her. His arm rested over his shoulders and he smiled down at her. Her golden curls clung to his arm and he brushed her hair with his fingers.  
He stopped though when she snuggled further against him.

Carly paused when she noticed Freddie and Sam together. She smirked at the look of surprise on Freddie's face when Sam curled against him more. If she hadn't known better, she'd think that he was just a boy with a crush on a girl who didn't reciprocate his feelings.

"Okay, so I was thinking we could shoot a shirtless Gibby with the confetti cannon."

"We should cover him in peanut butter." Sam added.

"Peanut butter?" Carly raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, then the confetti would stick." Then her eyes lit up evilly. "Then we could release some dogs."

"We don't want Gibby mauled."

"Why? Don't want your boyfriend's face messed up?" Sam cooed. Carly rolled her eyes. She really did hope that Freddie would calm Sam down, or at least make her more bearable. "And I don't want him mauled. It would be just a bunch of dogs…licking Gibby. You ever see a dog eating peanut butter? It would be hilarious."

"If we use dogs from the pound, we could help them find loving homes." Freddie added. Carly couldn't believe that Freddie was going with her idea, yet he still offered an idea that was distinctly him.

Sam looked ready for some nasty comment, but said, "That's a good idea."

Freddie shifted so he could look at Sam in surprise.

Carly nodded. "Okay, so I'll have Spencer take me to the pound tomorrow. Do you want to join us or do you two have plans?"

"We have a date tonight but nothing tomorrow." Sam supplied.

After a moment of thinking, Freddie said, "Yeah, we should be free."

"Now, if you'll excuse us….Freddie made us dinner plans." Sam said, struggling off the beanbag chair. In her attempts to stand, she squirmed against Freddie and practically ended up in his lap. She blushed deep red as she found herself pressed up against him. She panicked. Then she was falling and hit the floor with a thud. At least she got off the freaking chair.

Carly was laughing as the couple waved goodbye. Maybe Freddie influenced Sam for the better too.

\-----------------------------------------------  
In the hall, Freddie placed a hand on Sam's arm.

"Did you have to tell her we were going on a date?" Freddie said.

Sam shied away from his touch. "You're the one who told her that we're going out again." She replied, reminded of how Carly had cornered her and divulged that little tidbit of information.

"You know, we don't have to really go. She won't know the difference."

Sam scowled. "You just don't want to buy Mama dinner."

Freddie sighed and rolled his eyes. What did he get himself into?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Fanfiction.net under AJ1123 on 07/19/2012. Partially rewritten.

"Are you sure you don't want to change first?" Freddie teased as they got off the bus near downtown Seattle. Sam didn't say a word, only scowled and socked him in the arm. He grumbled and strode away from her. Frowning, Sam ran to him and linked her arm with his. Freddie tensed and looked down in shock, but quickly relaxed into her touch.

"Where are you taking me, Freddork?" She chirped.

Freddie playfully rolled his eyes. "The Rib Shack."

Sam's eyes lit up and he giggled at her. "I have wanted to go there for so long. How did you know?"

"I got a coupon in the mail." Freddie shrugged and Sam's face fell a little bit. "And I thought that Sam Puckett would never want to leave a place called the Rib Shack. You know they have—"

"Ten types of ribs." Sam beamed. "Have you ever tried goat ribs?"

Freddie scrunched up his nose but didn't answer.

The two continued down the street, walking closer to one another than either realized. When Freddie finally did notice that they looked like a couple walking down the street, he nearly pulled away. Not because he was afraid that people would come to same conclusion, but rather that Sam would and beat the chiz out of him.

"Here we are." He said, pulling the door open. "Ladies first."

"Then you should go first."

They entered the restaurant one at a time but once inside, Sam's hand found Freddie's once more. He looked down in confusion. She just kept touching him in the way a girlfriend would and it kept making him blush.

"A table for two please."

"Sit wherever you like." The hostess said. "A waiter will be right with you."

Freddie smiled at the girl. Then he noticed that she looked a lot like Carly. He knew it wasn't—Carly didn't have a tattoo on her neck—but he did do a double take.

As they sat down, Sam's kicked him in the knee. He looked at her in surprise. "I saw you checking out Miss Tall and Brunette over there." She snarled. Freddie was dumbstruck; Sam looked jealous.

"She almost looks like Carly…don't you think?"

"Of course you'd be checking out a girl that looked like Carly." Sam rolled her eyes.

"Sam…I wasn't checking her out." Sam just glared at him. He groaned. "If anything you're the prettiest girl here."

Sam's eyes went wide and Freddie felt all the blood drain out of his face. Did he just say that? This wasn't supposed to be a real date and here he was complimenting her. Before he knew what was happening, Sam had shot across the table and grabbed his shirt. She tugged him until their faces were inches apart above the table. "You do not flirt with me." Then she let him go.

After he slumped back in his seat, embarrassed, he said, "I wasn't."

Sam looked ready to protest but at that moment, the hostess walked up to their table. "Hello, I will also be your waitress for this evening. My name is Darla."

Sam just stared at the hostess for a moment before saying, "I'd like the three-for-one special."

"And I'd like the rib sampler." Freddie said. Darla's eyebrows shot up. Obviously she thought the special was for the two of them to share.

She turned to walk away and Sam looked at Freddie, incredulously.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I can't believe…" Sam said. "She did look like Carly!" Then she sharply kicked him.

"It's called an apology, Sam."

"I don't apologize to nubs." She snapped.

Freddie just shrugged and stood up. "Then you can pay for your own meal."

Sam watched him a moment, neither of them saying anything. Freddie was fighting with himself whether he should leave her or not—it was only six and she was already treating him like crap. Sam suddenly wanted to apologize but she didn't want him to think she was saying it just so he would pay.

Then they both burst out laughing.

"That didn't last long." Sam said as Freddie eased back into the booth. "Were you really mad at me?"

"No." He said, smirking, his cheeks red.

"You play a good game of Chicken. Maybe when we both finally get our driver's li—"

"No, Sam…oh god, no." He said laughing.

Itwas almost eight when they finally paid and left. Freddie had eaten his meal and waited for Sam to finish the three racks of pork ribs. Then he ordered an extra large hot fudge brownie sundae with two spoons, and Darla cheekily asked if they wanted two. Then she looked at Sam with blatant disgust. Sam wanted to beat up the waitress but Freddie managed to calm her down. Neither of them said anything about the fact that Freddie calmed Sam down by rubbing her hand gently.

The weather had grown colder as the night drew on and a cool breeze howled through the streets. Sam shivered and moved closer to Freddie as they waited at the bus stop. Finally, noticing that she was cold, Freddie slipped his jacket off and draped it around her.

"Now you're cold." She said, mistaking his shiver as one of cold.

"I'm fine."

"Don't lie, nub." Sam said, taking the coat and carefully maneuvering it so that it rested over both of them. This required them to get very close. In fact, their close vicinity probably warmed them more than the actual coat. Still, they both wouldn't look at each other, both sporting bright red blushes.

When Freddie dropped Sam at home, she hesitated before going up the walk, but finally, she turned to him. "Thanks…I guess." Then she kissed him on the cheek.

Freddie wanted to grab her, yell wait and pull her into a real kiss but instead he kicked a rock and started to walk back to the Bushwell.

He was irritated with himself. Why couldn't he have told Sam to stop? Why did he want to? He didn't really want to kiss the blond-headed demon, did he? In frustration, he kicked a rock on the sidewalk as hard as he could. It sailed through the air and smashed through a car window, eliciting a loud, squealing alarm.

Freddie panicked and ran down the street as fast as he could.

And here he thought Sam would be the one to destroy something.

His mother was waiting for him at home, sitting at the kitchen table, her hands folded in front of her. Freddie shot her a confused look as he got a glass from the cabinet and filled it in the sink. "Hey. What are you doing home?"

"The hospital was overstaffed." Ms. Benson replied sternly. "Why are you just getting home?"

"I was at Carly's." He answered.

"Don't lie." She said. "When I first realized you weren't here, I went over there. Spencer said he didn't know where you were."

Freddie shrugged. "You know how absent-minded Spencer is. He must have forgotten I was still up in the iCarly studio. Carly and I were practicing this really cool trick for the next webcast."

Ms. Benson glared at Freddie for a long minute and he thought that she'd call him out, but instead her face relaxed. "Spencer really is like a giant child." She shook her head, laughing. "Well, I won't keep you…run off to bed."

Freddie grimaced. It was only nine, but he wasn't about to argue with his mother. She might try to force him into a tick bath. He already had gotten her down to one bath every two weeks. Ms. Benson was already unhappy with the compromise—he didn't need to give her a reason to rescind on their deal.

"Night."

\--------------------------------  
The next morning, Freddie slipped out of the house before his mom could wake up. He wrote her a note that he was going to the dog pound with Carly and Spencer, leaving out that Sam was going to be there.

Exiting into the hall, he nearly ran into Sam as she got ready to knock at the Shay's door.

Freddie just barely stopped himself from colliding into her and grabbed her arm to steady himself. Sam shrieked in surprise and spun on him, her fists flying out and pounding his chest. Just as she was about to extricate herself from his grip, the door opened.

Both of them stopped, bright smiles plastered on their faces.

Carly smirked at them. "Sorry…I didn't…"

Freddie let go of Sam. She stepped away from him, blushing. "We weren't—"

"You don't need to lie guys." Carly winked. "Come on in. Spencer is in the shower, but once he is finished, we will head out."

"I call the fridge." Sam announced, disappearing into the kitchen. She swung open the fridge and started rooting around in there. Occasionally she'd pick something out and set it aside. So far she'd retrieved a pound of uncooked bacon, a package of ham, two chicken legs, and a can of gravy. Freddie wondered what on earth she could be making.

Carly was suddenly at his side, clearing her throat and drawing his attention away from Sam. He just realized that he had been staring at her.

"So I'm guessing you two finally kissed?" Carly asked.

"Why are you so concerned about it?" Freddie said, his tone irritated and for a moment, Carly was distinctly reminded of Sam—that was a bit scary.

"I just want you two to be happy."

"Just stay out of it." Freddie snapped, feeling bothered by the fact she kept bringing it up.

"You haven't kissed her, have you?" Carly guessed, and Freddie groaned. "Why not?"

Freddie didn't answer Carly. At this point, the constant nagging was getting irritating. Of course, he wanted to kiss Sam, but she didn't like him like that. The only reason they were doing this was so that they could mess with Carly. Each and every time that Carly nagged him about not kissing Sam, it bugged him more and more. Finally, he stormed into the kitchen where Sam was just about to open the package of bacon.

Without warning, Freddie grabbed her waist and spun her around. While one hand still held the package of bacon, Freddie leaned in to kiss her. He didn't leave any time for her to back out, yet at the last moment, Sam freaked out. She jerked away from him and lost her balance. He didn't have time to catch her, and she went down, the back of her head smacking the counter.

"Ah…damn."

\-----------------------------------

As they sat in the ER, Carly, Freddie and Spencer as they tried to distract themselves with various magazines and periodicals. Freddie was reading Science Weekly, while Spencer peered over his shoulder at an article about Galaxy Wars. Carly was reading some tabloid.

"She's all wrapped up if you'd like to go back and see her." The nurse said, stepping into the waiting room, motioning to the three.

Carly nodded to Freddie for him to go see her first.

"If she attacks you, shield your eyes!" Spencer called as the nurse led Freddie down the hall. Carly shushed him.

"She doesn't have a concussion but the gash needed thirteen stitches." The nurse told him as they walked to her room. 

Freddie winced—it was a pretty big cut then. She was going to kill him…no, torture and then violently murder him. He wondered if he should ask the nurse to stay with him, but then thought better of it. Sam would know what he was doing and mock him even more. "We had to shave part of her head to reach the wound. Then we wrapped up her head when we were finished."

"You shaved her head!?" Freddie yelped, and the nurse looked at him in surprise. "I sure hope you have her on some heavy pain medication."

"She didn’t really need it. We just gave her a mild pain reducer. She is pretty coherent. She's been screaming and throwing things since we finished stitching her up but calmed down when we told her she had visitors. We didn't tell her yet about her hair. We were afraid she might hurt someone."

"Sounds like Sam alright." Freddie grumbled.

The nurse stopped outside of the room and it was eerily quiet. She opened the door and ushered Freddie in. For a moment, he thought she was going to join him. Instead, she shut the door behind and was gone, leaving him alone with Sam.

"This is your fault!" A bottle of Purell bounced off his head.

Sam was mobile, and really pissed. The blankets had been torn off the bed and the cart that had held the doctor's instruments was knocked over. A pair of tweezers sat near Freddie's foot.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry!" She screamed. "They shaved my head, Freddie!"

No one could say that Sam Puckett was an idiot. "Only part of it. Who knows, you might look good with half a shaved head."

"How about you let me shave your head!?" She screamed, picking up a pill bottle and reeling back to bean him.

"Sure." Freddie said calmly and seriously. So seriously in fact that Sam lowered her hand and looked at him incredulously. "Did they leave the razor in here?"

Sam, dumbfounded, pointed to the electric razor that was lying on the ground. Freddie picked it up, glad to find that it was still intact. He realized it must have fallen when Sam flipped the cart over. He picked it up gingerly, plugged it into the wall and passed it to Sam.

"Try not to scalp me."

"No promises." She said, leading him to the operating table. He sat down without any resistance but wanted to jump up when the razor buzzed to life behind him.

Then he felt it on his head. His dark hair started falling all around him. Sam's hand was shaking and nicked him a few times. It didn't really hurt and she didn't break the skin, but it did sting a little bit.

"Watch it." He said as she caught his ear.

"Sorry." She said offhandedly as if the word slipped out without her notice. He wanted to make some snide remark about how rare of an occasion it was that she apologized, but he thought better of it when he remembered the razor. "There."

He ran his hand over his scalp, the hair stubbly and short. At least it didn't seem she did it unevenly. "How does it look?" He asked, turning to face her.

She started laughing immediately. In fact, she laughed so hard that her entire face turned red and she was doubled over. "God…so much insult fodder."

"I'm glad you're enjoying it," Freddie said. "Because now we're twins."

He grabbed her into his arms and pressed their cheeks side-by-side. Sam's laughter got louder. She squirmed against him but he held her tight. "Ew…I can't date my twin." She whined and pushed away from him. Suddenly her smile fell. "I'm sorry."

"For?" He asked. Was she sorry because she shaved his head?

"Freaking out." She said quietly. Was Sam nervous? "You just caught me by surprise."

"So if I asked to kiss you right now, you wouldn't freak out?" He asked, invading her personal space and smiling seductively at her.

"Shut up, Freddie." She snapped but she was smiling. "We don't have an audience right now. And you know Carly would never take our word for it."

"I guess we'll just have to get her in here then."

"You really want to kiss me." She said, her tone serious. Freddie instantly felt his stomach tighten up.

"No, no." He said quickly. "I just want Carly off our backs."

"Yeah, me too." She said.

"No rush, though." He added. The awkwardness could be cut with a knife.

"No rush at all." Sam parroted.

"I'm going to go get Carly and Spencer. They want to see you. Maybe you should clean up though" He said, pointing to the mess before leaving the room to get the two Shay siblings. Sam looked after him like a lost child, unsure if she should follow. In the end, she started moving around the room, picking up the medical supplies and sticking them randomly into cabinets.

As he entered the waiting room, he heard a shriek. Then Carly was there, looking horribly confused and shocked. "Freddie! Your hair!"

“Yeah, Sam got her revenge.” He laughed. “She’s ready to see you.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Fanfiction.net under AJ1123 on 7/19/2012.

Spencer and Carly had driven Sam and Freddie back to the building, before leaving to make their appointment at the pound. Carly suggested they wait in their apartment and take it easy. It wasn’t a bad plan.

So Sam and Freddie ended up on the Shay's couch, watching wrestling. Freddie refused at first, stating that he wanted to watch something educational like the Tech Channel, but after Sam made some quite vicious jabs at his masculinity—and pointed at her head—he gave up.

"Make me bacon, Benson." Sam barked, snapping her fingers.

"No." Freddie said. Sam looked at him, bewildered. As nice as it was to have him around as her personal slave and punching bag, she wondered if she spent too much time around him; she was rubbing off on good-two-shoes Benson. "Do it yourself, lazy."

"More like dizzy." She pouted, pointing at her head again.

Freddie rolled his eyes and ignored her. She growled in the back of her throat and cross her arms over her chest. They watched TV in silence for a few minutes.

Eventually Sam said, "Please?"

"No."

"I'll tell your mom about our 'relationship'." Sam warned.

"You wouldn't."

"She would never let me near you again." Freddie said.

"Exactly." Sam replied with a wink. "I won't have to see your nub face lurking around here anymore, or listen to your techy-talk."

"You'd miss me." Freddie told her.

"Shut up, loser. I'm trying to watch the Undertaker destroy John Cena." He watched her be reabsorbed into the show. "RIP HIS HEAD OFF!" She screamed, then grimaced, clutching her head in pain.

"Need an aspirin?" He asked, grabbing the bottle off the table.

"I'm fine, mom." Sam droned, but snatched the bottle from him anyway. She poured almost the entire contents of it into the palm of her hand.

"One or two, Sam." Freddie said, grabbing her wrist and stopping her.

"Don't touch me, Benson…that's how we got into this situation in the first place." She snarled and pulled away from him. As she did so, all the pills fell to the floor. They rolled under the couch and table, and a few disappeared from sight underneath the door leading to the hallway. Sam glared at Freddie.

He put up his hand in surrender and gave her a half-hearted smile. "I know you're mad at me, Sam, but you can't take an entire bottle of aspirin."

"I am mad." She affirmed as she slid off the couch and sat heavily on the floor. Then she began picking up the tiny pills. Freddie sighed and joined her.

"What can I do to make you not mad at me?" He asked. "I've shaved my head already."

"I shaved your head." She corrected.

"Whatever." He snapped.

"You never even apologized." Sam pouted.

Freddie fixed her with a dark look. "Are you kidding me? Those were the first words out of my mouth."

"Well, your actions haven't been apologetic."

"Sam…seriously? I shaved my head for you!" Freddie said in exasperation. "What else do I have to do?"

"How about a kiss?" Sam said finally.

Freddie was dumbstruck a moment. Sam did not want a kiss. Then it hit him—she wanted to humiliate him. When he leaned in for a kiss, she'd pull back or smack him or something. So instead, he grabbed her on each side of her head and carefully placed a kiss on her head where the stitches were.

When he leaned away from her, he noticed a deep blush that ran up her throat and face. He went back to picking up the runaway aspirin, and when he looked back, her face was back to normal. He must have imagined it.  
"Okay, bacon time." Sam said, jumping up and practically running to the kitchen.

She needed to get away from him or she was going to make a fool of herself.

________________________________________

"Come out of there, Sam!" Carly called, pounding on the bathroom door.

When Sam finally got the okay to take off the bandages, she refused to allow Carly to do it in the living room. Instead, she escaped upstairs where she holed herself up in Carly's personal bathroom for a little over an hour. Neither Freddie or Carly were sure of what to do.

"If you don't come out of there, Sam, we can't tell you about how the pound visit went!"

"You can just tell me through the door." She returned.

Carly turned to Freddie and motioned for him to try. He shrugged and shook his head. He had been trying almost forty-five minutes before Carly and Spencer even returned home, and she hadn't budged.

Carly and Freddie camped outside of the bathroom. Spencer brought them juice boxes which lay unopened.

Half an hour later, the door opened a crack. "Freddie?" Sam whispered.

Freddie glanced at Carly, and she nodded at him to go. Then she returned to her phone, furiously texting. Freddie stood and slipped into the bathroom.

Sam had moved to where she sat on the closed toilet seat, and Freddie had to blink when he saw her. One side of her head was completely bald, a few stubbly hairs sticking up here and there. He had a good view of the stitches which were slightly pink and puckered, but otherwise healthy-looking. Sam had straightened her remaining hair to the point where she looked like a punk rocker.

"You look good." He said, giving her a genuine smile.

"You really think so?" She asked, looking up and brushing the hair out of her face.

"Really suits you." Freddie shoved his hands into his pockets and leaned against the door. Keeping his voice low, he asked, "Why did you ask for me?"

Standing up, Sam slowly sauntered up to him. Freddie watched her with weary eyes. When she reached him, her hands slinked around his waist and her palms pressed flat against the door. Then she leaned in really close, until her breath blew across his face. He tried to sink further into the door to get away from her, before his impulses revealed that he liked the contact.

"I just need Carly to think that we reconciled…like boyfriend and girlfriend." She said, batting her eyelashes.

Freddie gulped nervously and squeezed his eyes shut. When he reopened them Sam was gone, putting the hair straightener back in the drawer. She shot him a devious smirk and walked back towards him. He braced himself, but she just reached around him. Then he was on the ground outside of the bathroom with Sam lying across him.

When she had opened the door, causing him to tumble out, he had grabbed her and took her down with him.

"Idiot…" She snarled, her expression enraged as she stomped down the hall.

Freddie looked to where Carly had been sitting only to find her gone. He struggled to his feet and followed Sam to the living room. She continued into the kitchen and Freddie slouched on the couch. Carly was eyeing him from where she sat on the stool. He shook his head at her unanswered question and she frowned, perturbed, before returning to explaining how the pound visit had went.

Freddie glanced at Sam, only to find her looking at him as well. He offered a weak smile. The girls in his life were going to be the death of him.

________________________________________

Since the pound agreed to allowing three of their most friendly dogs to do the show, a pickup truck came around three o'clock with the dogs. The webcast was at six that evening and they still needed to convince Gibby to be covered in peanut butter.

It wasn't hard.  
"Dude, that sounds awesome!" Gibby said, after Freddie explained it all. He did leave out the part involving the dogs though. It was supposed to be a surprise. "What are the dogs for though?" He asked, pointing to where the mastiff, the pit bull, and the golden retriever peered at him from the cages.

"Just another bit." Freddie said, acting as if he were engrossed with something on his computer.

"Does this bit involve your bald head?" Gibby asked, leaning back on his bean bag chair.

"No…" Freddie hadn't explained what happened yet but he could see that Gibby was rearing to ask what happened. "Long story short, Gibby, Sam fell and needed stitches on her head. They had to shave half of her head—"

"They shaved Sam's head?" He exclaimed in surprise.

"I said the same thing." He smirked. "Anyway, it was, kind of, my fault that she fell and so to keep her from killing me, I allowed her to shave my head."

"How was it your fault?" Gibby asked.

"Well, Carly wouldn't stop hounding us about the fact that we haven't kissed yet and when I tried to well…kiss Sam, she tripped." Freddie said distractedly. The words left his mouth before he could stop them and when he spun around to face Gibby, the usually shirtless boy was looking at him with a mixture of confusion and shock.

"Kiss?"

Freddie remembered that Gibby knew nothing of his first kiss or this whole dating thing with Sam. Gibby had been there at school when they walked into the cafeteria, holding hands, but he probably didn't notice. He was always so wrapped up in Gibby-land.

"Sam and I have been…dating." Freddie finally admitted.

"What?" Gibby jumped up. "Since when?"

"Since…Thursday." Freddie said. The absolute look of horror on Gibby's face both irritated and made him feel slightly ashamed. Sam had tortured Gibby for years and he was certain that Gibby would see it as a betrayal.

"Does she make you happy, dude?" Gibby said, suddenly serious. Freddie nodded. "Then I'm happy for you two."

"You're not mad?"

"Should I be? You're the one dating her, not me." Gibby shrugged. "Everyone criticized me for dating Tasha, but we were happy."

Freddie looked at Gibby. He hadn't expected him to be so reasonable. Maybe he should tell Gibby the truth. He would be someone to talk to, someone to help cover his back. Sam was already helping out, but Freddie had the constant fear that any second she was going to backstab him. The only thing, he figured, that kept her tame up to this point was that outing the little scheme would get her in trouble too.

"We're not really dating…" Freddie said suddenly. Gibby looked confused. "We're just pretending that we are. You see, Carly got this idea in her head that setting us up on a blind date would somehow make us fight less—I don't see how though—and so we're trying to get back at her by fake dating."

"How is that working out for you, man?" Gibby asked, returning to his seat.

If he was going to be honest, it wasn't working out. They hadn't done anything that would bother Carly yet, thus making their fake-dating scheme pointless so far. Plus, Freddie found himself attracted to Sam more and more, and he was certain that the blond-headed demon had figured it out.

"Not well at all."

"Then call it off." Freddie grimaced at the idea. One, he didn't want to because it gave him the chance to be close to Sam and two, she might kill him if he tried to back out. It was a game of relationship chicken—and he always lost to Sam when they played chicken. This time, though, losing meant getting his heart broken.

"You like her!" Gibby announced suddenly, his face lighting up.

"No, no, no, no, no…" Freddie said, launching forward and clamping his hand over Gibby's mouth. "I don't like that blonde-headed demon." On the last word, his voice cracked.

"Sure…" Gibby said, raising his eyebrows playfully. Freddie just turned away.

"I need to know that I can count on you, Gibby."

"For?"

"You know…not telling Carly. And possibly covering for Sam and I?" He said nervously. He felt a tinge of guilt for dragging Gibby into it.

"How so?"

"I don't know." He said with a lopsided shrug. "I'm just afraid we will slip or something. And I know if that happens, Sam will hang me out to dry."

Gibby nodded slowly, thoughtfully. Finally he sighed and said, "You can count on me. If you need anything at all, just ask because Gibby is your man!" He paused for a moment. "I still think you're playing with fire."

"Yeah…me too."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Fanfiction.net under AJ1123 on 7/19/2012.

The dogs had been getting restless, more and more so as the day went on. Finally, Spencer, who had been trying to work on his latest sculpture—it was made entirely of cereal boxes and milk cartons—decided the dogs needed to be walked. Carly agreed to help him, leaving Sam and Freddie in charge of coating Gibby in his layer of peanut butter. Armed with paintbrushes and an entire aisles worth of peanut butter jars, they got to work.

Five minutes in, Gibby looked directly at Sam and said, "I know."

Her head jerked up and she looked confused. She glanced at Freddie who clarified, "Stop being cryptic, Gibby. He means I told him about the whole fake-dating thing."

"Why?" Sam snapped. "We both know Gibby will tell Carly the first chance he gets."

"No, no. He says he'll help us." Freddie defended.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "How?"

Gibby cleared his throat at that point, drawing their attention to him. "By giving advice. You guys are going about this all wrong." Sam's lip curled in irritation and Freddie motioned for Gibby to just get to the point. "Just dating does nothing. It means that Carly's plan worked—she got you guys to behave, even if it was just for a few days. What you need to do is be that annoying couple. You know, be all lovey-dovey and disgusting. Make out all the time, especially when she is there. You need to make her regret ever setting you two up."

Freddie and Sam shared a look. Finally Sam said, "I never knew you were so devious Gibby. If you weren't such a shirtless potato, I think I might have just fallen in love. There is a problem though…I'm not making out with Freddie."

Gibby thought a moment. "Well, you don't have to. You could just pretend to have been making out when she comes into the room or something."

"Good, because my lips are too good to be touching nub lips."

Freddie just groaned and they went back to painting the shirtless boy.

Apparently the mastiff, Bubba, was a bit enthusiastic and dragged Spencer through the park, chasing a squirrel. Carly had to sit him down on the couch and apply antibiotic cream to all his little scrapes and scratches. Once she set him up to watch Girly Cow and assured him the big mean puppy would be out the apartment soon—though really the dog did nothing wrong—she retreated upstairs to start the webcast for that evening.

"5…4…3…2…" Freddie trailed off and indicated that the show was started.

"I'm Sam!" Carly shouted.

"I'm ham!" Sam yelled. Then she paused, "That's not right, I'm Sam."

"Well, I'm certainly not ham!" Carly said with a fake British accent.

"You are now!" Sam told her, pulling a shirt from off-camera and forcing Carly into it. When the shirt was finally on, it was a picture of a ham and an arrow pointing upward at Carly.

"Please tell me you made this specifically for the show."

Sam got right up in the camera. "I wear strange clothing!"

The next few minutes were a blur. Sam explained her hair and how she fell while beating up some kid and needed stitches. Then there were bad knock, knock jokes and random spitting, which even Sam agreed was gross. They did it out the window though, and a camera that Freddie stuck in the tree out front caught the faces of the people being hit.

"Now, Spencer built a new sculpture recently!" Carly announced while Sam dragged in the large, covered device. "Don't worry, Freddie helped so it shouldn't burst into flames like the Magic Toaster did."

Sam announced, "To help us demonstrate this, we have Gibby. Kiddies, if you have peanut allergies, we suggest you look away from the screen now."

Gibby strutted out wearing nothing but swim trunks. He grabbed the sheet and pulled, revealing a small cannon. "I give you the confetti cannon!" Sam hit the applauses button on her remote and Gibby clapped along with it.

"Now, Gibby will stand right here." Sam positioned him in front of the cannon. "And then I will…" She pressed the button and the cannon went off.

After the cloud of confetti cleared, Gibby was revealed to be standing there, coated in a layer of brightly colored paper scraps and peanut butter. He just smirked and picked a piece up, popping it in his mouth. Sam and Carly both grimaced at the camera.

"Tastes like peanut butter." He said. "I like peanut butter."

"You know who else likes peanut butter?" Carly said.

"Dogs!" Sam yelled and pressed another button. The cages slid open and the dogs ran straight for Gibby. Bubba, the one who had dragged Spencer, immediately knocked Gibby over and began licking his stomach. Molly, the golden retriever, settled for licking his face, and Rufus, the pit bull, just hopped about, barking.

As Gibby screamed and thrashed about, Sam and Carly said, "Awwww."

"These dogs were lent to us by the Seattle Dog Pound, and are all up for adoption. If you liked to inquire about any of the dogs seen here on the show, call the number at the bottom of the screen." Carly said, smiling. "Who wouldn't want to adopt one of these adorable dogs?" She asked as they all looked up at her, their muzzles covered in peanut butter.

Freddie kept the camera on the dogs as they smacked their lips and tried to actually eat the peanut butter. It had coated the roofs of their mouths just like Sam predicted.

Eventually Sam herded the dogs back to their respective cages and Gibby ran off to shower. It was just about time to bring the show to a close, but then Carly bounced up to Freddie and whispered in his ear. He looked confused but still passed her the camera. She motioned for him to stand next to Sam.

"What's going on?" Sam hissed. Freddie shrugged.

Carly said, "Sam and Freddie are finally dating!" She squealed, and both Freddie and Sam glared at Carly and the camera.

"We are not doing this Carly." Freddie protested, even though he wasn't entirely sure what 'this' was. It could have been just about anything, but he didn't like the mischievous look in Carly's eyes.

"Doing what? I haven't even told you about it yet."

"Well, I don't like it." Sam snarled, crossing her arms.

"The viewers have been waiting for this for a while, guys. How about a kiss?"

It was true. Ever since they went to Webicon, it was readily apparent that the fans wanted Sam and Freddie to get together. While a few people wanted Carly and Freddie to get together, there was significantly more devoted 'seddie' fans. The whole thing freaked out the iCarly crew but now that Sam and Freddie were 'dating' they had to at least tell everyone. Kissing was out of the question though.

"No." Sam said immediately.

"They haven't even kissed yet." Carly announced maliciously, before moving over the computer. People were posting comments like mad. "Listen to what people are saying.   
Jonesy124 says, 'If I were Freddie, I wouldn't even hesitate to kiss her. Sam is fine.'"

"Mama is fine." Sam smirked.

"And PunkRocker345 says, 'Come on, it isn't fair to us. We've been waiting so long.'"

"No way." Freddie said, feeling a rock form in the put of his stomach. He really did want to kiss Sam but she would kill him. She even said earlier that she was too good to kiss him.

"Seddieforever2 says, 'I will stop watching the show if they don't kiss.'" Carly smirked evilly. "We will lose our fan base, guys, come on."

Finally, Sam's tensed shoulders relaxed in defeat and she rolled her eyes. She turned to Freddie who seemed a bit dazed. She placed her hands on his upper arms, but he didn't move.

"Freddie." She hissed. "Put your hands on my waist."

It was like someone turned the lights on because before Sam could prepare herself, Freddie grabbed her waist, pull her to him, and pressed his lips to hers. He had been waiting and wanting to do this for so long and now that he had her, he planned to enjoy it. Though, Freddie had to admit he was surprised when Sam's hand curled into the front of his shirt and pulled him closer—if that were possible. Her tongue snaked out and flicked across his bottom lip. He opened his mouth and was bombarded with a rush of warm feelings.

Then they stumbled apart, wide eyed and shocked.

Sam snapped out of it first, looked straight into the camera, and fled the room.

Freddie just looked after her, his expression unreadable.

"And that concludes our show." Carly said into the camera.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Fanfiction.net under AJ1123 on 7/19/2012.

Sunday rolled around and neither Carly nor Freddie saw any sign of Sam. After she ran out of the apartment, Carly cornered Freddie, but he just shrugged. When Carly had continued to press, Freddie turned it back on her. He said that if she hadn't forced them to kiss, Sam wouldn't have freaked out. Carly was so bothered by both his attitude—it sounded too much like Sam—and her part in everything that went to take an extra long shower and never returned. Eventually, Spencer just smiled sadly at the teenage boy sitting on his couch and told him to go home. He could deal with it come school tomorrow.

"They might be calmer." Spencer had offered weakly, but Freddie certainly didn't believe it.

He had gone home, only to find his mother sitting in the kitchen. Normally, Freddie wouldn't have thought anything of it, but she was on her laptop. After the thirtieth time he had to fight her to get use of his own laptop, he just bought her one. It had really pissed him off that he got her this brand new computer and she never even used it. Seeing her using it now made bells go off in his head.

"Hey, mom…what's up?"

She looked up at him a moment, her expression unreadable.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He stammered. It was really making him nervous at this point. Did someone die? Was it grandma? They had been so sure that she'd make it through the hip surgery. There were never any guarantees, though, and Freddie felt cold all over.

"I'm just trying to see if my little Fredward is still in there somewhere."

Freddie stepped back. "What are you talking about?"

"THIS!" She screamed, flipping the screen around. She had been watching iCarly, and paused the video…right on the scene where Freddie kissed Sam.

"Mom…it's not…"

"I can't believe you'd date, let alone kiss that…that…delinquent!" She screamed, her voice shrill. "What did I do to you to deserve this?"

Freddie wanted to open his mouth, explain that it was all a scheme, a ruse, an act, but he knew his feelings for Sam. He was entirely too aware of how great that kiss had felt. It made him want to kiss her again—even if it meant that she killed him—and it scared him, but also made him feel warm from head to toe.

"It has nothing to do with you, mom." He said finally.

Years of anger at his mother for doubting his every choice and trying to keep him from the world rose to the surface. He didn't learn about sex until he was fifteen, and it was Spencer who had the talk with him. Girly Cow was banned from his house until he was seventeen because it was 'inappropriate' and 'detrimental to his learning'. Tick baths, synchronized swimming classes, weekly inoculations, and now criticizing the girl he liked…maybe loved?

"Freddie, what were you thinkin—"

"I was thinking that I am going to do what I want to do." He said bluntly. Ms. Benson opened her mouth as if to respond, but Freddie cut her off. "I like Sam…a lot, and you have no say in it. I'm not doing this to spite you or get back at you. I'm not rebelling or acting out. Instead, I am doing what I want for once. I'm going to bed…good night."

As Freddie left the room, he was almost certain he heard his mother start crying but he didn't go back. He did feel bad—she only wanted what was best for him—but she had to learn that her little boy was growing up. He was eighteen.

When he finally got to his room, he slipped into his pajamas, climbed into his bed, and turned on his laptop. Then he watched his kiss with Sam. She really appeared to melt into the kiss, her hands sliding up his arms, but he shook his head. It was a fluke. She forgot who she was kissing, she was putting on a show, or perhaps she just hadn't been kissed in so long, she decided to enjoy it. He refused to accept the nagging thought that she knew he liked her and she kissed back simply to mess with him; that reality would hurt too much.

Then he watched it again…and again…and again until he finally passed out from exhaustion.

\-----------------------------------

Carly was in school, but she refused to talk to Freddie. His outburst had really bothered her. She didn't ignore him exactly but whenever he got close enough to talk to her, she'd disappear. He groaned and banged his head against his locker. Then he let his head rest there, wondering if he was going to actually go to class or not.

Suddenly someone grabbed the back of his head and slammed it against the locker again.

"I like your thinking, Benson." Sam snarled, her body pressed up against his back. She ran her hand over the stubble on his scalp. He tried to keep from shivering with her in such proximity. "That feels kind of nice actually."

Freddie wasn't sure what to say. He contemplated breaking out of her grasp but that might give her apt reason to murder him. Instead, he allowed her to just hold him there. At least class had started so no one would see them. He wasn't even sure what she was doing. Maybe she was thinking about what torture she was going to inflict on him.

Suddenly, he heard her sniffle.

Was she crying? Freddie ducked from underneath her hand and turned around, grabbing a hold of her arms. There, indeed, were tears running down her face and she seemed at odds with the act. She covered her face.

"Sam…what's wrong?"

His words seemed to remind her of her surroundings because she tore away from his grip. "Don't touch me, Freddie."

Her words seared through his mind, and he felt sick to his stomach. "Sorry."

Sam stared at him a moment, the tears now stopped but her eyes were still moist. She looked like she was going to say something, but instead she turned and started to walk away. Freddie looked after her, more confused than he had ever been. She had done some odd things in the past but this had to take the cake.

"Sam…wait." She stopped and glared back at him. "What…what the hell?"

"Just leave me alone, nub." Sam told him, her tone defeated. "I'm done."

"With?"

"This. Us." She said, motioning at the two of them. "This fake dating. Someone is going to get hurt." Then she turned on her heel and started walking away again.

"Sam…" Freddie said after her, grabbing her wrist. Suddenly, she turned, her fist connecting with his jaw. He groaned and sunk to his knees, wondering how such a small girl could boast such strength. It wasn't too bad though—he had years to get used to her beatings. He glanced up at her and saw something odd in her eyes. Was it remorse?

"I warned you."

Then he was left all alone in the hall. Right then he decided that he wasn't going to class today. With that, he stood and simply walked out of the building.

Not being an avid skipper, Freddie had no clue where to go. Sam usually never strayed farther than the parking lot—at least the few times he had caught her skipping—and she never told them where she went when she didn't show up for school. Perhaps she just stayed home.

Well, Freddie knew he couldn't go home. So he just started walking.

Eventually Freddie found himself at a park. He had never seen the park before, and wondered how he couldn't have. It was a mere block from the school but was hidden behind an old, abandoned warehouse. And while the park was clean enough, he wondered if parents really brought their children to hang out behind derelict buildings.

He shrugged off all reservations he had about the park's location and found a bench to sit on. There were probably so many things he could get away with, but he wasn't in the mood to do anything but sit there.

Two hours later, he was still sitting there when his phone rang.

"Hello?" He asked without thinking.

"Where are you?" For a moment, Freddie thought it was his mom. "Why aren't you in third period?"

It was Carly.

"Doesn't matter." He said.

"Is this about Sam?" Carly said. "I'm sure she'll show up. Has she talked to you?"

"She broke up with me." He said, rubbing his hand over his face. There was silence at the other end. Suddenly, he wanted to tell Carly the truth. It was a bad idea. It would just be easier to think they broke up than tell her that they allowed their friendship to be destroyed just so they could get back at Carly. God…they were idiots.

"What happened?" Carly gasped. "I have to talk to her."

"Don't bother, Carly." Freddie said. "I have something to tell you…"

"What?" She asked.

He took a deep breath, allowing his eyes to wander around the park as he worked up the nerve to tell her everything that happened. Just as he was about to open his mouth, a hand came from behind him and took the phone away.

"It's all Freddork's fault." The newcomer said into the phone before slamming it shut.

Freddie gulped when he found himself looking up at Sam, and she looked more pissed than before.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Fanfiction.net under AJ1123 on 7/19/2012.

The awkwardness was palpable as Sam and Freddie sat on the bench. Freddie had no idea what to say as Sam unwrapped package after package of fat cakes. Where she found all the snacks, he'd never know but she had filled her entire backpack to the brim. After she threw his phone down a gutter, she sat down next to him on the bench and started eating.

"Sam…" He said after ten or fifteen minutes of silence.

She didn't respond or react. After a few more minutes, she set down the half-eaten fat cake in her hand she turned to him. He stiffened as she reached out and cupped the side of his face. Then she roughly moved his head sideways, her eyes looking over the vicious red mark on his jaw. "Hmm…I did a good job."

"Glad to know that you think punching me was 'good', because it was good for me too." Freddie snapped irritably, pulling away from Sam.

"Was it?" She smirked. "I think you've been spending too much time with me, Freddie."

Freddie just rolled his eyes. "Did you come out here to eat like a pig and then talk about how nice it was to punch me?"

"I didn't say it was nice to punch you. I'm just saying that I hit you harder than I thought." She shrugged. "And stop being so passive aggressive, it's an ugly color on you. Here…want a fat cake?"

She passed him one. For a moment, he just stared at it, rather tempted to throw it back at her. All the crap she put him through this morning and she gave him a fat cake? Then he realized that she was trying to apologize. All his anger seemed to leach right out of him. She had hunted him down and spent almost a half an hour occupying the same bench as some sort of round-about apology. While he should be mad that she couldn't muster up the courage to just say it aloud, he appreciated the thought nonetheless.

"Sure." They sat in even more silence, but now it wasn't awkward.

"Hey, Fredbag…can I try something?"

"Depends, does it involve punching?"

Sam shook her head, but scooted closer. This was going to turn bloody and Freddie knew it. Someone—even if it wasn't him—was going to get hurt.

"Look at me."

When Freddie hesitated, she grabbed his head and moved it towards him. His mind launched into overdrive, over-analyzing each and every movement, at least until Sam's lips touched his. He immediately found himself moving into the kiss, his bottom lip catching hers and nibbling it. She smirked and pulled away for a moment, her laughter filling his senses and overwhelming him.

It was strangely sweet and fun and really enjoyable.

Freddie hadn't kissed a lot of girls. There was only two and they were incidentally Sam and Carly, but no kiss with Carly had ever felt like this. Her lips were dry, cracked and similar to a dead fish. Sam's lips made him tingle from his head from his toes.

It seemed as if they couldn't get close enough. Sam moved forward until her thighs pressed up against Freddie's, and Freddie allowed his fingers to become tangled in her hair—the hair that was left that is.

"Get a room!" A skateboarder shooting by yelled suddenly.

Both teens jumped apart, their eyes wide and their breathing shallow. They looked at each other a moment, and started laughing. It was the kind of laughter that made your sides ache and your stomach hurt. And they certainly felt both by the time they were able to stop their residual giggling.

They sat slumped against one another.

"Are we going to talk about this?" Freddie asked.

"I guess…" Sam said, her expression strained. "To be honest, I don't want to. I just want to get a hot dog and pass out on the sidewalk."

It was better than the inevitable heartbreak he knew she was about to dish out. He could see it in her eyes that she was bothered by something, and he was certain that it was the kiss. Had she not enjoyed it as much as he had? Had she been laughing at how awful he was? His blood ran cold at the thought.

"Me neither, but I need to know that we're okay…that you're okay."

"You're such a girl, Benson. You're more concerned about me?" She laughed but it was only for a second. "I punched you!"

"It doesn't hurt that badly." He said, rubbing his face.

Sam hunched forward, pushed out her jaw, and said, "Me manly man, I don't feel pain. What is pain?"

Freddie just smirked, but it felt forced. "Oh shut up."

They fell into an easy silence. Freddie checked his watch. It was only noon. It seemed as if it had been so much longer. He wondered what they were doing in school. Learning about imaginary numbers? This was so much better.

"Freddie…" Sam started.

"Yes?"

"I like you." She said finally, and it sounded as if it pained her to say. He was surprised that she didn't just punch him. Freddie felt his throat close at those words. Sam liked him? So then, she didn't regret the kiss? "And I understand that you don't…"

"Wait…you think I don't like you?" Freddie asked, his eyes wide.

"Don't interrupt me when I'm confessing to you!" She snapped, punching him lightly in the arm.

"Right…this is a rare and magical occasion." Freddie rolled his eyes. "Sam is sharing her feelings, everyone take two steps back."

"I will punch you again, Fredlumps."

"I see the names haven't decreased with your crush." He laughed. "What—"

Sam punched him again and groaned. "God, you are turning into me."

"You made out with yourself." Freddie teased and she flicked him on the nose. "Sam…" He said, his tone turning serious. "You know I like you too, right?"

"Obviously I didn't." Sam snapped, her tone angry. It was her defense mechanism, he knew. All this talk of feelings was making her uncomfortable. He'd have to take it slow or she'd run off like a scared little rabbit. "I thought you were…"

"What?"

"I don't know…messing with my feelings." She shrugged as if she didn't care but Freddie knew she did. Pete, Jonah…all the guys she had dated had been complete and utter scum. While he felt angry at the fact that she thought she would do that to her, he couldn't exactly blame her either. Not only did she have apt reason to be nervous, he had mentally accused her of the same exact thing.

So instead, he shook his head and reached over, taking her tiny hand in his. He had to remind himself of the strength these seemingly dainty hands possessed, and that told him that he should pick his words carefully.

"I would never do that." He said, looking her straight in the eye.

She blushed red and looked away. "Stop being such a girl." She said through hissed teeth but he knew she was just trying to negate the fact that the whole scenario was all emotional and mushy—too much for her tastes.

He leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the lips. She leaned into the kiss, but he had already pulled back.

"Is that why you punched me?" He asked when they moved away.

"I was freaked out by…" Her next words were unintelligible.

"What was that?" He smirked.

"I was freaked out by how much I liked you! Okay? Happy?" She snarled.

"Very." He said.

"And I thought you were just playing with me, and I didn't wait to like you as much as I did. I didn't want to have to hurt you."

"You mean that you didn't want to get hurt."

Sam rolled her eyes. "Don't correct me if you know what I am trying to say." She was getting angry now. "And if you tell Carly or anyone anything I said here, I will skin you alive and use you as a throw rug under my dining room table at home, and you've seen my eating habits." Freddie shivered in mock disgust and Sam smiled.

"So what now?" Sam asked.

Freddie had no idea.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Fanfiction.net under AJ1123 on 7/19/2012.

Carly returned home after school to a quiet apartment. Spencer didn't seem to be around and neither Sam or Freddie congregated there as they usually did. It was strange not seeing them on her couch for once. However, after everything that happened, it was probably a good things they weren't around. She shot both of them texts, asking how things were but neither responded. Sam usually took her sweet time responding to texts but Freddie usually texted back within two minutes. When she received no reply, she put her phone away.

She groaned and fell on the couch, turning the TV on for background noise while she sat there thinking. It was all her fault. If she hadn't been pushy and meddled like she usually did, Sam and Freddie probably wouldn't have broken up. She kept trying to tell herself that they were dysfunctional anyway, but Freddie's words had stung her.

"What's wrong, kiddo?" Spencer asked, walking in the room with a basket of laundry. Carly eyed it suspiciously, but it seemed to be just that…a basket of laundry. There appeared to be no strange surprises. For once, it seemed Spencer was doing something 'normal'.

"It's just Sam and Freddie."

Spencer nodded sadly and then said, "yeah, I've been thinking about that too. Freddie seemed really broken up about it. I don't know why though...they weren't even dating."

Carly's head shot up. "What do you mean?" She asked.

Spencer looked at her for a moment. "What do _you_ mean?"

She studied him a moment. "Nothing…I guess. But they definitely were dating."

"Then why did Sam get so mad about the kiss?" Spencer asked.

"You know about the kiss?"

"Yeah, I do watch your show." Spencer said with a shrug. "If they were dating, though, then why did Sam get upset and leave?"

"I think she was upset because we forced her to kiss on air." Carly said, feeling the knot in her stomach return. It was probably that kiss that ultimately caused the relationship to implode. And it was all her fault. She quietly promised herself that if they got back together, she would keep her nose out of it-though she knew that wasn't entirely true.

"Have you ever heard of Sam being 'forced' to do anything, Carly?" Spencer asked, raising his eyebrow and making a weird amount of sense. 

Carly shook her head. It was all so odd. As Spencer disappeared upstairs with his laundry—which squeaked suspiciously—Carly continued to sit on the couch. There was something that she wasn't being told, and if there was anything that she hated…it was secrets.

\-------------------------------------------------------

"I don't think we should abandon our plan." Freddie said as they walked down the street towards the Groovy Smoothie.

"You think we should continue to fake date?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No…I think we should really date and continue to mess with Carly." He said suddenly and Sam stopped in her tracks. She looked at him, wide-eyed. "Unless you don't want to."

"Why would I want to date a nub?" She spat and Freddie looked away, but he felt a hand slip into his. When he looked down, she was smiling up at him. He smiled and gave her hand a small squeeze. She returned the squeeze but three times stronger, and he was brought to his knees in pain. "I won't be your girlfriend until you take me out to dinner."

"Okay…okay." He said through gritted teeth. "Let me go."

She smirked and released him. He stood, a goofy grin on his face. "Well, then we are not going to the Groovy Smoothie."

Sam looked ready to speak, but Freddie was already pulling her up the street. His smile made her nervous, but a good kind of nervous. "Where are we going?"

Freddie still told her nothing. He dragged her all the way to the bus stop and made Sam sit on the bench and wait…patiently. It was the hardest part of Freddie's day, and he had admitted that he had a crush on Sam Puckett just a few hours before. The thought made him laugh and Sam shot him daggers as they got on the bus.

When they got off after six stops, they were in Downtown Seattle.

"Seriously, Freddie." Sam said, pulling him to a stop. "Where are you taking me?"

"It's a surprise!" He said, smirking, and she cuffed him around the ears. "Still not telling you. I don't know why you think violence will make me talk…"

Sam just smiled coolly and stepped closer to him, leaning up against him. She leaned her head back and stared into Freddie's eyes. She batted her eyelashes a few times before reaching up and sliding her hand down his cheek, neck and chest. His eyes fluttered shut and he shivered as she leaned up and gave him a soft peck on the lips.

When she stepped back, he said, "That just might work, but I'm still not talking."

Sam slammed her foot down on top of his and started walking away while he groaned in pain. Then she looked back at him, blinked her wide eyes, and asked, "Are you coming?"

Freddie rolled his eyes and caught up to her, linking his arm through hers.

They walked for three blocks before he ushered her into an brick storefront. Inside, the smell of hot pizza wafted from the kitchen, and Sam turned to Freddie with bright eyes when she realized that he'd taken her to a place that specialized in brick oven-baked, Chicago-style pizza.

"I've heard of this place online. They have the best pizza in Seattle." Sam said as they sat down. "You're not stalking me are you?"

"You live on Hyatt Avenue and your best friend is Carly Shay. You're failing English. On the weekends you do iCarly with said best friend and the devilishly handsome, Freddie Benson." Freddie said in a serious tone, trying to hold back a smirk.

"Devilishly handsome?" Sam smirked before bursting into laughter.

"Hey, don't laugh. You know it's true."

"Just eat your wimpy cheese pizza before I bust a gut." She said before tearing into her own six meat pizza. They ordered separate meals because Freddie didn't want meat and Sam was, well, Sam. He had to fight her to only order one extra large pizza. Then he ordered himself a small cheese with broccoli and smirked as she finished her entire pizza and started reaching across the table to take his as well.

"Slow your roll or you're going to be sick."

"Pucketts don't get sick."

"I forget, Pucketts just _are_ sick." Freddie mocked. Sam glared at him. "Have you seen your eating habits?"

"It's like I'm dating myself!" Sam groaned, exasperatedly. The more time she spent with Freddie, the more he misbehaved and slung sarcasm around. It seemed she was influencing him for the better. 

"Dating?" Freddie said arrogantly. He leaned back and crossed his arms across his chest, a smug smile on his face.

"Well, it's not official until you pay." 

"I thought we were just going to dine and dash." Freddie joked and one of the waitresses shot him a dirty look before positioning herself near their table. He motioned for her to bring the check to their table.

"You just got really attractive." Sam said, tracing her finger on the back of his hand. He smirked at her. "But don't let it get to your head, Fredweird."

"See…it was sweet until you used the nickname."

"I prefer term of endearment."

"So all these years you've been professing your love for me?" Freddie asked, and she threw a slice of pizza at his head—taken from his own pizza of course. Then she proceeded to scoop it off the floor and eat it. Freddie was going to make some comment about not kissing her, but the bill had arrived.

"What now?" Sam asked as they stepped out in the evening air. It was only six-thirty and neither was ready to go home yet. Sam because her mom was crazy, and Freddie for the same reason. He didn't want to deal with his mother, and Sam didn't want to deal with her mother's boyfriend of the week.

"How about we go make out on Carly's couch?" Freddie laughed.

Sam slipped her hand in his and rested her head against his shoulder. Never did Freddie expect to see the day that Sam Puckett was "lovey-dovey"—and not for her own malicious gain, of course.

"Sounds like a plan."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Fanfiction.net under AJ1123 on 7/19/2012.

When Carly came downstairs at nine-thirty to refill her water glass and make sure that Spencer hadn't done anything stupid, she was surprise to find the TV on, and Sam and Freddie sitting on the couch. Sam was sprawled across the couch, her feet settled on Freddie's lap and they were quietly talking. She noticed Freddie's hand rubbed up and down Sam's shin as she giggled and playfully kicked her feet. They must have turned up sometime within the past hour or so. 

"Hey." She said finally, walking as if she had just come down and hadn't been watching them at all. They both turned to her, smiling.

"Oh hey, Carls." Sam drawled.

"What's up?"

"What's going on?" She asked, suspiciously. Carly was almost certain that if the two had gotten back together, she would have been the first to know. Obviously she had been taken off the mailing list, and that bothered her.

"Nothing. I just didn't want to go home yet…" Freddie shrugged.

"…And I'm sleeping here tonight anyway." Sam finished, shoving a fat cake in her mouth. She had a whole stack of them sitting on the table. Some things never changed.

"No…I mean, are you two back together?" Carly asked.

"Yes we are." Freddie said, his voice changing as if he were talking to a young child. He leaned towards Sam, giving her a soft little kiss on the cheek. "We just couldn't stay apart."

"We really couldn't." Sam said, batting her eyelashes at Freddie.

This was all very strange. In fact, it was really freaking Carly out. Freddie would never pull that crap in front of Sam if at all, and Sam would rather be violently murdered than be one of those couples—the kind that used baby voices, disgusting nicknames and uncomfortable public displays of affection.

"And it's all thanks you to Carly that we are back together. Right, sugarlumps?" Freddie cooed, and Sam looked grossed out for a moment, but it passed too quickly and so Carly wasn't sure if that was what she saw. Finally, Sam nodded, placing her hand on Freddie's shoulder. It was like they always had to be touching.

"Uh…so everything is okay?" Carly asked.

"Of course, why wouldn't it be?" Sam asked, stroking Freddie's cheek. Carly was certain that she was going to be sick. "Now, if you'll excuse us, we are trying to watch The Time Traveler's Wife."

Sam watching a romantic movie? Wasn't that the first sign of the apocalypse? Carly frowned. "You know that's my favorite movie!"

"Yeah, well, this is just for me and Freddie." Sam said.

Carly looked at her two friends snuggled up on the couch. If it weren't for the fact she was afraid they were going to start making out, she would have pressed the issue of them breaking into her house to watch a movie and then telling her that she couldn't watch. Instead, she said, "Goodnight" and went back up to bed.

\----------------------------------------

"I thought all that mushy crap last night was going to make me barf." Sam snarled as she slammed her locker shut. Freddie had managed to convince her to go to school. She griped and complained all the way but he promised her another date night if she agreed to go to school and behave. She just said that he'd better take her somewhere amazing.

"Same here." He groaned, leaning against the lockers.

"I thought that stuff was right up your alley, Benson. You know…making people sick." Sam grinned evilly.

"Why am I dating you?" He groaned.

"Because you looooooove me." She said, batting her eyelashes.

"Whatever." Freddie deadpanned, as if irritated. Sam punched his arm. "Okay… okay… maybe." But he was smirking now.

Then with that, she turned and started down the hall, muttering about bacon and 'shaking down the lunch ladies for some grub'.

"That's reassuring." Freddie muttered.

"What is?" A voice asked suddenly.

Freddie spun around. "Oh god, Gibby, you startled me. It's nothing." He paused. "You were just the man I wanted to see."

"Whatcha need, Freddie?"

"You to go on a double date with me, Sam and Carly."

Gibby looked at him with shock. "You want me…to go on a date with Carly?"

"No, no. Actually, I was hoping you could bring a date. One of those girls you are always hanging around with." Freddie said and when Gibby looked at him with confusion, Freddie continued, "You see, Sam and I are still going through with the plan. And that takes two parts, one part is the mushy lovey-dovey stuff aimed to make her uncomfortable and the other to make her feel excluded."

"That seems a bit mean, Freddie."

"So is manipulating your friends." He sighed. "We'll make it up to her once we're certain that she has learned her lesson. Are you in?"

"Yeah." He said, slightly dejectedly.

Freddie blinked at Gibby. "You know you don't have to do this, right?"

"It's not that…it's just…" He trailed off.

"…You like Carly." Freddie finished, and Gibby looked up at him wide-eyed. "Sam was the one who figured it out. She just mentioned it to me last night."

"It's that obvious?"

"No, Sam is just nosy." Freddie laughed. "Look, Gibby, you do this for us and I'll set you up on a date with Carly."

"Isn't that what caused all this in the first place?" Gibby asked.

"You see, Carly was trying to manipulate us into behaving better. She hoped by forcing us on a date we would talk and bond. She didn't tell either of us what was going on, but I'll tell her that she is going on a date with you."

"But she'll never agree to that."

Freddie smirked. "Trust me, she will. For now, though, go find a date for tonight and don't let Carly know that you're bringing someone."

\-----------------------------------------------------

"Hey, Carly." Freddie chirped as he found her sitting alone at lunch eating a ham sandwich and sipping a Pepi Cola.

"Oh, hey Freddie. Where's Sam?" Carly asked, looking around the room as if the blond in question was going to jump out of someone's backpack.

"I don't know. I think she left after first period." He said with a nonchalant shrug. Carly rolled her eyes-of course Sam was playing hooky already. "Anyway, I wanted to know if you'd like to go out for dinner with Sam and I."

"Um…I'm not sure." Carly said. She didn't want to spend an entire evening as the third wheel. They'd make googly eyes at one another and use that atrocious baby talk. She'd rather stay home and watch Spencer paint cats on the walls.

"Gibby's coming." Freddie said, raising his eyebrows at her.

"Really?" Carly visibly brightened up. Freddie said nothing about him bringing a date, and only nodded once. He didn't want to hurt Carly but he did want her to feel left out. He'd make it up to her later, of course. Though, thinking back on his plan, he did wonder if spending too much time Sam was turning him bad. The thought made him smirk.

"Yep." He stood. "Meet us at Apple Barrel at six."


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Fanfiction.net under AJ1123 on 7/19/2012.

Sam and Freddie were the only ones at the restaurant when six rolled around. They had gotten there around five-thirty and were still waiting for Carly to show up. Gibby had texted to warn them that he would be a few minutes late. Sam and Freddie shrugged it off and told the hostess of their reservations. She smiled and lead them to their table, and told her that they were waiting on three more people.

A few minutes later—after Sam ate all the bread and stole some from the next table over—Carly finally showed, wearing a pretty red dress and black high heeled boots. She smiled at her friends and sat down.

"Where's Gibby?" She asked, looking nervous, as if she dressed up for nothing.

"On his…there he is." Freddie pointed to where Gibby was walking in with a girl draped over his arm.

The girl was really pretty with white blond hair that she wore in ringlets down her to lower back. She had bright blue eyes and wore just enough makeup to bring out her high cheekbones. Her dress was a deep midnight blue with a flattering tiered skirt. Immediately Carly felt self-conscious and silly. Gibby had brought a date.

"Hey, everyone! This is Lola Kingsley." He smiled and indicated the girl. "She is from London, England and is studying neuroscience at Northwest University."

"Hello! Nice to meet you all." Lola said in her British accent, and took her seat.

As if Carly hadn't felt nervous before. If this gorgeous genius was what Gibby was into, she'd never stand a chance. She received good grades but still didn't make the honor roll last semester, and wasn't very good in science at all.

Freddie noticed that Carly already looked down. He had never expected Gibby to find such an amazing date. He'd thought he bring some mediocre girl, not the next Nobel Peace Prize and Miss Universe pageant winner.

"Hey, Freddie-weddie...we should order the escargot." Sam said, pointing at the menu.

"Snails? Are you sure, sweetie?"

"It's meat." Sam said with a shrug. "I've tried it before. It's good, babe."

On the other side of the table, Gibby was snuggling up with Lola. The girl was babbling incessantly about how behavioral neuroscience was going to be the next big thing and that was why she was switching her minor to psychology. Carly rolled her eyes. Lola seemed nice enough but Carly found her irritating nonetheless, especially as the couple giggled and scooted closer to one another. Who could find that shirtless potato so appealing that they'd practically sit on his lap in public? Carly shook her head at the thought.

"So what do you all plan to study in college?" Lola asked the table in general, smiling genuinely. Carly hated that smile.

She opened her mouth to say that she intended to study physical therapy but Freddie cut in almost immediately. "I plan to study film with a minor in technology, and Sam wants to study culinary arts."

Carly opened her mouth again.

"I'll be studying theatre." Gibby cut in. "Always thought I was too pretty not to be on TV."

Carly once again was about to speak when Lola cut her off this time.

"So how did you two meet? You are the cutest couple."

Carly sat back in her chair, a scowl on her face. This was getting annoying.

"Well, we met years ago through Carly actually." Carly sat forward. Was she finally in the conversation? Freddie simply continued. "And we hated each other. Sam would torture me aaaaaaall the time…relentlessly. Then, Sam told the world I never had my first kiss, and she revealed that she hadn't had hers either. So finally, we kissed. Three years later, here we are."

"Wow. That's a long time." Lola said, and Sam and Freddie shared a meaningful look.

"How'd you meet the Gibster?" Sam asked through a mouthful of bread. Freddie elbowed her and she smiled, her mouth still full of bread.

"We met at the beach strangely enough. I was there studying evening tides. I have no clue why he was there." Lola shrugged and giggled. "Anyway, he asked me out for some ice cream, and I told him no. But he was persistent."

"That's Gibby for you." Freddie said, and everyone laughed, except Carly.

His plan was coming along swimmingly as Carly excused herself, quite irritably, to the restroom. As soon as she was gone, Sam and Freddie let out a huge breath of air.

"I had to stab a fork in my leg to keep from mocking you, Benson." Sam snapped. "Freddie-weddie? More like Freddie-idiot."

"Love you too." Freddie rolled his eyes.

"I am confused." Lola said. "And I'm a neuroscience student."

"It's all an act to get back at Carly." Freddie offered.

"Why would you want to get back at Carly? She seems so nice." Lola asked, blinking her bright blue eyes.

"She has a point, guys." Gibby said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Shhhh…she's back."

The table lapsed into silence, almost awkward silence, so Freddie nailed Sam in the shin with his foot, which launched into a game of footsie—though with Sam it was more like Foot Wars. Just as she smashed his pinky toe twice, Lola launched into a story of the time that Gibby fell on her sister's wedding cake shirtless.

Carly crossed her arms and sulked in her chair.

By the time their meals came, Carly was ready to leave. She tried to act hospitable when Lola tried to draw her into the conversation, but each and every time, Freddie and Sam—mostly Freddie though—would cut in and draw her out of the conversation once more. They were lost in couple world and without a date, Carly was woefully on the outside looking in.

Freddie and Sam were feeding each other…weird, and Gibby and Lola were discussing neuroscience. How did Gibby know so much about the brain? It was scary actually. Carly just frowned and stabbed at her pasta.

"Sam and I were going to go to the movies afterwards." Freddie said suddenly. "Would you and Lola care to join us?"

"What about me?" Carly interjected.

"It's couple's night at the theatre." Freddie said, matter-of-factly.

"THAT'S IT!" Carly screamed, standing up and slamming her hands on the table. Lola jumped in surprise. Gibby just looked at her, his eyes wide. Sam and Freddie seemed braced for what was about to happen. "I don't know what's going on but you are purposely keeping me out of the conservation. You two are not a lovey-dovey couple so cut the chiz out and stop with the secrets. You promised. And Gibby, don't bother showing up for rehearsal next week."

Then she stormed from the restaurant, tears running down her face.

Everyone looked at each other a moment before Gibby and Sam stood to run after her.

Once they were gone, Lola looked across the table. "What just happened?"

"I really messed up…" Freddie said, looking down at his hands. "Sorry about your date."

"Oh…it wasn't really a date. I don't like Gibby like that…he likes that Carly girl. I can see why, she's feisty."

"Yeah…" Freddie said, wondering if the brunette would ever forgive him.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Freddie realized that he should not have been surprised when Sam hunted him down as he walked home from the restaurant. She just walked up behind him and kicked him in the back of the knee. He groaned and turned, expecting a mugger, but wasn't particularly surprised to come face to face with an angry Sam.

"We need to talk." She snarled, grabbing his arm and dragging him across the street to a bench. She forced him to sit and then paced in front of the bench.

"How's Carly?"

"Not talking to us." Sam snapped. "Gibby's comforting her."

"Did you tell her the truth?" Freddie asked.

"Is that all you care about, Freddie? Your stupid plan?" When Freddie said nothing, Sam sighed and slumped onto the bench beside him. "This is all my fault isn't it?" She asked.

Freddie turned to her in surprise. "W-why would you say that?"

"Because I manipulated you for years, Freddie." Sam said. "And now that Carly has done it, you're freaking out. She was the safe one, the one you could always trust to be honest."

"Sam…Sam…don't blame yourself."

"It's true, Freddie, and you know it." She shouted, standing. "Don't bullshit me."

"Sam…"

"No…shut up. Call me when you get over whatever the hell this is that is making you lash out at your friends and act like an ass." Sam turned on her heel and stomped off, leaving Freddie all alone on the bench.

He really screwed up this time.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted originally on Fanfiction.net under AJ1123 on 7/19/2012. Partially rewritten.

When Freddie showed up at Carly's apartment, Spencer was standing in the kitchen. He looked over the younger teen for a moment, his expression unreadable. Freddie was afraid he'd be mad, but instead he seemed conflicted.

"Carly is with Gibby." Spencer said. "Sam is upstairs if you want to talk to her."

Freddie groaned. He wanted to settle things with Carly first.

"If you want to just leave, I won't tell her that you were here." Spencer offered.

"No…no…" Freddie shook his head in resignation. "I have to face her eventually." Spencer nodded knowingly. Freddie imagined the artist had to have difficult talks with a lot of women over the years—but probably none as feisty as Sam Puckett. Freddie was nervous as he pressed the button for the elevator, but then he decided to take the stairs.

When he entered the studio, Sam was sitting on one of the beanbag chair, staring at the ceiling and throwing a tennis ball against the wall.

"Hey." He said after a moment.

She turned around, startled. From her face he could tell that she wasn't expecting him.

"Can we talk?"

"You're already talking…" Sam snapped, turning back and throwing the ball as hard as she could against the wall. The tennis ball ricocheted off and almost hit Freddie.

"Sam…you're still mad at me." It was a statement, not a question. Sam just nodded sternly. Freddie thought about returning the ball to her, but was afraid she might hit him next time. "You know…this isn't all my fault."

Sam turned in her seat. "Don't you dare blame Carly."

"I wasn't." He said, avoiding eye contact.

"This isn't my fault." Sam snarled, standing up and facing Freddie. The tech producer stepped back and watched in case she took a swing at him. "You're the one who came up with this stupid plan and caused all this."

"But you went along with it!" Freddie cried in exasperation. "And I'm not blaming you, so don't get all defensive, but you're not entirely innocent. Plus, what happened to last night? Because I distinctly remember you saying that I got all wrapped up in this plan because of the way you've treated me over the years."

"Don't turn this on me." Sam said. "You knew Carly would get hurt."

"You did too!" Freddie returned. "But you did nothing to stop me. You could have told Carly what was going on. You didn't."

"I…" Sam trailed off. Then she started laughing. Freddie looked at her as if she were crazy. What was funny? "We really…messed up didn't we?"

Freddie just stared at her. Did she hit her head with that tennis ball?

"We both messed up, Fredweird, but fighting isn't going to solve anything."

"Wow…you want to solve something without punching me?" Freddie asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Seriously, I'm trying to solve this peacefully. I thought you'd approve." Sam snapped, her tone irritated. If it weren't for her attempts at peace, Freddie was sure she would have punched him. "I'm making an effort…meet me halfway, goddamnit." She snarled.

"Sorry…sorry." Freddie said, putting his hands up in surrender.

"When did we switch personalities?" Sam groaned, placing a hand on her forehead and lowering herself onto a beanbag chair. She groaned as if it were a great effort.

"I don't know." Freddie said, sinking into the same chair. He didn't seem to care that his position caused Sam to have to put her arm around him. In fact, he snuggled into a bit. "I don't know what I'm more pissed about: the fact that I did something that stupid or the fact that Carly's original plan worked…"

"How about not being pissed?" Sam offered with a noncommittal shrug. She could see the suggestion was a long shot but it did bring a smile to Freddie's face. "And is it so terrible that her plan worked?"

He looked at her for a long minute. "No." He groaned. "You know we're screwed when you're the voice of reason."

Sam shifted and punched Freddie as hard as she could. He yelped in pain and tumbled onto the floor. Despite the pain that caused him to grit his teeth, he smiled. At least this proved he wasn't dreaming or in some parallel universe. He looked up and saw her looking down at him. Reaching down, she hauled him to his feet. "I agree with you though, for the record, but I couldn't let that quip go unpunished."

"Using that word of the day calendar I got you, aren't you?"

"I swear I'll stop being so reasonable." She snarled.

"Please stop anyway," Freddie suddenly begged.

"What?"

"I don't know where all this sudden rationality came from but I fell in—started to like the mean, violent girl who tormented me all the time. I rather you act like your usual, rabid self. I'd really prefer not to date myself."

Sam looked at him a moment, her eyes hard. He wasn't sure if she was going to punch him or what. Finally, she just said, "You love me, huh?"

"I never—"

"Don't lie." She raised her fist.

"Maybe a little bit." He admitted, under the threat of bodily harm of course.

"If you don't fly off the deep end again—"

"That's not even the right idiom…"

"—I might just be okay with that." Sam finished, leaning forward and quelling all grammar lessons by occupying Freddie's mouth with something other than reprimanding her botched English.

They kissed for a long time. Finally they broke apart, letting their foreheads rest against one another. Sam made faces causing Freddie to laugh and ruining the moment—not that there was much of one to begin with. Freddie suddenly asked, "So are we okay?"

"Yeah…sure. If you give me ten bucks."

"How about another kiss?"

"Cheapskate…"

But she didn't protest.

\-------------------------------------------------------

Carly burst into her apartment, seething. Her anger was palpable. For the past two hours she sat at Gibby's house as he recounted the entire tale of what happened the past few days. She learned about the sneaking around behind her back and the fake-dating, or as much as Gibby knew or could ascertain from the limited information he was given. And she was pissed.

Sam and Freddie kept secrets.

They kept the fact that they were fake-dating secret, and never told her that they asked Gibby to bring a date. They never told her about this entire plan they had and entirely cut her out from the group. Their stupid little plan worked and she was on the warpath.

She stormed upstairs, fighting back tears. Carly knew exactly where her "friends" were.

When she slammed open the door to the studio, she saw no one at first. Then she looked to her right, and pressed up against the wall was Sam and Freddie. Sam's back was against the wall as the two kissed.

And all Carly could do was stare.

When she first heard they were dating—even though it was fake-dating at the time, she was thrown for a loop. Yet, seeing them kiss made it all too real. It was like seeing a cat and a dog curled up against each other. That was a novelty and the reason that the internet was littered with pictures of just that; it was so strange that no matter how many pictures were taken, there would never be enough to make it "normal."

Carly had this entire speech planned. She was going to talk about truth and lying, and how much all this had hurt her. She was going to touch upon consequences and the evil that was secrets. Yet, seeing her two friends locked in such a passionate embrace seemed to derail her train of thought.

The only thing that Carly could say though when she opened her mouth was, "Gibby told me you guys weren't really dating."

The two broke apart, embarrassed.

"Uh…hey, Carls." Sam offered, uneasily.

"Hi." Freddie did an awkward half-wave.

They shuffled awkwardly for a few moments. Carly took the moment to talk. "I'm mad at you two. Really mad. And I don't know how long it is going to take me to forgive you for this, but I am going to try, and you are going to have to as well. This means no more secrets…at all. I want the truth from you guys. Think you can handle that?" She asked, and the two just nodded, dumbfounded. "Okay…now that that's out of the way… YOU TWO ARE SO ADORABLE! I love it!" She squealed.

Sam clenched her fist reflexively but Freddie reached over and took that hand in his. She relaxed her grip and allowed him to hold her hand.

"Sam and I lied to you." Freddie began. "We weren't really dating but instead formulated a plan to get back at your for putting us on that date. And as you know, it went terribly wrong. Yet, all the time we spent together trying to bring this plan together, we ended up getting really close, and now we're really dating."

Carly nodded, processing all the information. Gibby have given her a lot of details but this was all new. Gibby had no idea why they were doing this plan or that they were together now. It was nice to hear it from her friends though.

"Now, I am going to take a shower…" She told them; she needed to think. "Please keep your clothes on."

Sam smirked. "No promises, and remember Carls, if anything happens, you are getting ALL the details."

Carly looked horrified, covered her ears and ran from the room.

"You're evil…" Freddie breathed.

"As long as you know it."


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Fanfiction.net under AJ1123 on 7/19/2012. Partially rewritten.

"At least my hair grew back out...mostly." Sam commented. "And just in time for Prom."

Freddie looked at her. Her hair was lopsided but a quick trim on the left side would fix the problem; not that it was a problem. Freddie kind of liked the look, and it meant Sam didn't have to spend hours doing her hair like Carly, who was still at home, actually.

"I never thought I'd see the day that Sam Puckett went to Prom." He smirked.

"I never thought I'd go with you." Sam smile, grabbing his arm as they walked farther into the banquet hall.

This year they rented out Stratford Hall, a mediocre location at a cheap price. Prom committee, though, made the Prom budget go far. A bouquet of yellow flowers at every table, teal flowers hanging from the ceiling, and Gibby's second cousin, Sinjin, drove up from Southern California to do the photography for almost nothing. The committee simply gave him money for gas both ways.

"Oh...Mama sees food!" Sam exclaimed and Freddie rolled his eyes as she started attacking the pigs in a blanket, filling up a plate and finding her way to an empty table.

Just as Freddie joined her, Carly walked in.

He nudged Sam who turned and looked at her friend. Carly was wearing a deep purple dress that matched a pretty, acrylic flower that she clipped in her hair. A few ribbons hung down, framing her face as the rest of her hair was pulled over the other shoulder. Mild make-up and a few well-placed accessories made her a shoe-in for Prom Queen.

"Wow...she looks beautiful."

Sam looked at him a moment. He knew that she thought that he couldn't see her expression but he saw the crease in her brow.

"But I am with the most beautiful girl in the room."

"Sap," but her smile lit up the room.

Sam decided on a bright red dress. It was one-shoulder, knee length and fit the curves of her body well. She complimented the dress with strappy red heels and a modest red choker. She clipped a few red flower pins in her hair—at Carly's request, and she looked absolutely gorgeous. People, who never even looked at her before, watched her cross the floor.

Carly walked up to the table that Sam and Freddie were occupying, her date holding onto her arm and beaming like he had won the lottery. Perhaps, in his mind, he did.

"Looking nice, Gibs." Sam smirked at the boy. He had gone out and rent a purple tuxedo that matched the color of Carly's outfit perfectly.

"Thanks. You are looking hot, Sam." He returned, and Carly elbowed him. "Ouch…I meant she looked literally hot, her face is all red."

Carly scoffed, shot an apologetic look at Sam—for whatever weird Carly reason that an apology was even necessary—and herded her date away towards the food. Sam and Freddie could hear Gibby telling Carly that she was the prettiest girl there. He'd have to do a lot to make Carly forget his little slip up. With them gone, it was Sam and Freddie alone again.

"Do I really look red?" Sam asked, spinning to face Freddie.

"You are such a girl." He smirked.

"You're the one who took an hour to do his hair." Sam rolled her eyes. "And your hair is still short from when I shaved it."

"I needed to look better than usual. I couldn't be too upstaged by you." He snaked an arm around her waist and pressed a kiss to her cheek. She resisted, trying to push him away but he pulled her tighter. She just giggled and allowed him to place a few kisses along her neck.

After that they watched the other party-goers. Carly and Gibby found their way to the dance floor where Carly was trying miserably to look like she wasn't with the shirtless boy doing the Macarena during a slow song.

Things with Carly had been rocky for the past few months, but the iCarly group was slowly on the mend. It was obvious from the webcasts that the usual group dynamic had shifted, and the fans took notice. They sent in posts, suggested solutions, but time would be the best medicine for the kids.

There were no more secrets which led to Sam telling Carly things about her relationship with Freddie that Carly wanted no part of knowing. In turn, Carly would constantly gush about Gibby and their relationship. In her attempts to reconcile with Carly, she adopted a habit of listening to everything the brunette said without interruption or snarky comment. Many people even commented that Sam was downright pleasant sometimes.

And that was partially thanks to Freddie.

They came to realize that while the whole incident nearly destroyed their friendship, in the end, it mellowed out Sam, caused Freddie to grow a backbone, and forced Carly to reconsider the decisions she made—one such decision led her dating Gibby rather than some nondescript bad boy who she lost interest in within a week. She and Gibby had been together almost five months and showed no sign of breaking up anytime soon.

As the night wound down, Freddie asked Sam to dance. She made some nasty remark about how dancing for losers, but accepted anyway, allowing herself to be led onto the dance floor. They draped their arms around each other and allowed themselves to become lost in the music.

\----------------------------------------------

"I can't believe you're getting married before me," Carly scoffed, looking at the ring on Sam's finger.

"Yeah, and Benson actually got me a nice rock. How much you think that'd sell for?" Sam asked, gazing closely at the ring. She angled it so the light would catch it better. It was beautiful, quarter of a carat ring. It wasn't extravagant or fancy but when Freddie bought the ring, he and Sam agreed on nothing too expensive; she would probably break it.

"You are not selling your engagement ring." Carly scoffed.

"I do own a pawn shop."

"You own an antique shop." Carly amended.

Sam shrugged. "Whatever. Potato, tomato…"

"When's the wedding date?" Carly asked finally, the question bubbling out of her like a shaken soda that just had the lid removed.

"Sometime in June. We haven't set a concrete date yet."

"Does this mean you two are going to move in together finally?" Carly asked.

"No. We decided to stay in our separate apartments." Sam said. "And someday when we finally have children, we'll just carpool them between the houses even though Freddie and I won't be divorced."

"Sarcasm wasn't necessary."

"But it was fun." Sam caught Carly still looking at her, a goofy smile on her face. "What are you looking at me like that for?"

"You admitted to wanting children." Carly said.

"I…" Sam grimaced. A few months ago she had gone on a rant about how she didn't want to have children. Pregnancy would ruin her amazing figure. Labor sounded about as much fun as shoving needles in your eyes, and you had to raise the stinking brats. "Yeah, well, I kind of have to accept the idea of children now."

"Why…?" Carly's face lit up. "Oh my—"

"Don't you dare freak out, and you can't tell Freddie yet." She warned. "I want it to be a surprise."

"You haven't told him?"

"No, hence the 'please don't tell him'." Sam droned irritably.

"I won't. My lips are sealed."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

Abigail Claire Benson was born on November 25th. She weighed six and a half pounds and had the brightest blue eyes. Sam had gone into labor around noon and Abby was in the doctor's arms by six o'clock.

Now, Sam Puckett had seen Freddie cry several times in his life.

When his mother passed away from breast cancer, he was inconsolable but only cried at the funeral. When his real father turned up on his doorstep wanting to reconcile after the death of his ex-wife, Freddie slammed the door and allowed himself a few tears but nothing else. When Spencer married Olivia, Freddie shed a few tears at the ceremony, and when Sam said yes to his proposal, his eyes turned watery.

But when he held his daughter for the first time, he just bawled.

And Sam cried too.

And when Carly came to see Abby, she cried as well.

It was a big cry fest and later when Sam was free of her pregnancy hormones for good, she looked back at her tears as an unfortunate side effect. Freddie, on the other hand, knew that Sam, despite her protests, cried because she had finally found what she needed: a family.

And as cliché and silly as that sounds, that was what Sam Puckett lacked. Her father was an alcoholic who died before she was born and her mother was an insufferable drunk. Carly and Spencer acted as a surrogate family, practically adopting Sam, but when Carly's father finally returned from the army, being in the Shay's apartment 24/7 wasn't the same even though Mr. Shay was entirely okay with her presence. Plus, the tight little familial bubble that Carly and Spencer surrounded themselves with, excluded Sam without them realizing for years.

Now she had a husband, a beautiful healthy girl, and a lovable dog. It was the makings of a good life, and as she and Freddie sat on the couch late into the evening, chatting and kissing occasionally, Sam decided that while at first glance the domestic life wasn't for her, it wasn't all that terrible. As long as her busy CEO husband found time for her and Abby each evening, and she continued to work at her little antique shop in downtown Seattle, she was happy.

And with their second child on the way, there wasn't much too complain about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for everyone who stuck through to the end. I originally wrote this story over 8 years ago. If I wrote this now, I would have changed a lot of things, but I have no interest in completely rewriting this story. Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> There are 12 more chapters of this fic. I plan to post them all but since they were originally written back in 2012, I am taking the time to improve them. So stay tuned, the next chapter should be up in the next couple of days. Thanks!


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